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Due Date
Before fixing a cup of coffee, be sure that the coffee can contains coffee.
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    Posted, 10th November 2010
    by Mvmvsanluis
    3
    Winter's Bone
    If you want to prove that your dad is dead, just cut both of his hands and hand them over to the police.
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      Posted, 5th November 2010
      by Mvmvsanluis
      2
      Hereafter
      "June" is not always a month of the year.
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        Posted, 28th October 2010
        by Mvmvsanluis
        0
        Hereafter
        Matt Damon's favorite beer is Heineken.
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          Posted, 23rd October 2010
          by Mvmvsanluis
          0
          Hereafter
          If you want to know a girl's secrets, ask her dead relatives.
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            Posted, 23rd October 2010
            by Mvmvsanluis
            0
            Hereafter
            It is not cool seeing dead people when you touch another person's hand.
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              Posted, 23rd October 2010
              by Mvmvsanluis
              0
              Hereafter
              Charles Dickens is not an old relative.
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                Posted, 23rd October 2010
                by Mvmvsanluis
                0
                Hereafter
                When you are paring up in cooking classes, you will ALWAYS get the hottest girl.
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                  Posted, 23rd October 2010
                  by Mvmvsanluis
                  0
                  Hereafter
                  Your boss can fire you because you don't have kids.
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                    Posted, 23rd October 2010
                    by Mvmvsanluis
                    0
                    Hereafter
                    A tsunami wave runs faster than people.
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                      Posted, 23rd October 2010
                      by Mvmvsanluis
                      0
                      Hereafter
                      Even when your dad is dead, he can reveal your darkest secrets and screw a dinner.
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                        Posted, 23rd October 2010
                        by Mvmvsanluis
                        0
                        Predators
                        A predator can resist an explosion of 10 grenades, but can be killed with an axe.
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                          Posted, 23rd October 2010
                          by Mvmvsanluis
                          6
                          Predators
                          If you have a mean machine gun, don't use it to kill the meanest predator, better fight him with an axe naked.
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                            Posted, 23rd October 2010
                            by Mvmvsanluis
                            1
                            Predators
                            If you want to kill a guy that is giving his back to you and there is a sniper rifle on the ground, don't use it. Better try to kill him with a scalpel.
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                              Posted, 23rd October 2010
                              by Mvmvsanluis
                              0
                              Predators
                              If you have a laser weapon, don't use it, better fight with swords.
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                                Posted, 23rd October 2010
                                by Mvmvsanluis
                                3
                                Town, The
                                If someone has to be sacrificed to save the rest of the band, always choose the fat guy.
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                                  Posted, 19th October 2010
                                  by Mvmvsanluis
                                  4
                                  Man On Fire
                                  If you don't want to wash your blood, just take a swim in a public pool.
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                                    Posted, 19th October 2010
                                    by Mvmvsanluis
                                    1
                                    Hot Tub Time Machine
                                    When you get wasted, a big brown bear appears out of nowhere.
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                                      Posted, 18th October 2010
                                      by Mvmvsanluis
                                      2
                                      Hot Tub Time Machine
                                      The best way to kill yourself, is a shotgun to the dick.
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                                        Posted, 18th October 2010
                                        by Mvmvsanluis
                                        2
                                        Hot Tub Time Machine
                                        Don't ever puke on a squirrel; she can mess with the rest of your life.
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                                          Posted, 18th October 2010
                                          by Mvmvsanluis
                                          3
                                          Hot Tub Time Machine
                                          Playing "Home Sweet Home" in your car, can get you killed.
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                                            Posted, 18th October 2010
                                            by Mvmvsanluis
                                            2
                                            RED
                                            The best way to stop a bazooka shot is a 9mm bullet.
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                                            • 7th May 2011 by ragglefraggle
                                              RPG dumbass it is just "rocket propelled grenade".
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                                            Posted, 15th October 2010
                                            by Mvmvsanluis
                                            2
                                            RED
                                            If someone is behind you in an airport, he is following you to kill you for sure.
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                                              Posted, 15th October 2010
                                              by Mvmvsanluis
                                              3
                                              Town, The
                                              You can rob a lot of banks and get away from the police, to live alone (but with money) in a shit hole for the rest of your life.
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                                                Posted, 15th October 2010
                                                by Mvmvsanluis
                                                3

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