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Onthinice has learned 12 things!
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Rocky
That fugly girl working at the neighborhood pet shop is not only secretly really hot, but her brother's a big-deal movie director. Be nice!
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    Posted, 8th February 2011
    by Onthinice
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    Cloverfield
    No need to panic, children - Sergeant I.M. Exposition will lead you to your exit, explain all of the classified plans the government has, including how and when they'll be executed, give you detailed information about when and how to exit the city, just the way it would happen In Real Life!
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      Posted, 8th February 2011
      by Onthinice
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      Cloverfield
      When the funny guy dies, the movie's over, folks.
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        Posted, 8th February 2011
        by Onthinice
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        Cloverfield
        Being young and beautiful and vapid leads to bloody death doled out by a mysterious monstrosity from the sea. Heh heh!
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        Posted, 8th February 2011
        by Onthinice
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        Happening, The
        When attempting suicide in a lion enclosure be sure to have him rip off your arms, because that's much more effective than, say, letting him bite your JUGULAR.
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          Posted, 8th February 2011
          by Onthinice
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          Happening, The
          It really is possible to walk backwards without tripping over everything!
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            Posted, 8th February 2011
            by Onthinice
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            Meet the Fockers
            This one trick pony isn't done kicking yet!
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              Posted, 8th February 2011
              by Onthinice
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              Frozen
              It's a fact - wolves will hang around closed ski slopes hoping 3 dimwits will get stuck in a chairlift rather than walk for a mile and raid the dumpsters at the restaurant right up the hill.
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                Posted, 8th February 2011
                by Onthinice
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                Frozen
                Be sure to rip all the skin off your hand by tearing it from the bar, because there's no way the sun is going to come out in a couple hours and melt the ice or anything.
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                  Posted, 8th February 2011
                  by Onthinice
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                  Frozen
                  Make sure you JUMP from the chairlift instead of hanging from it and falling, because you really want to get that maximum impact when you hit.
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                    Posted, 8th February 2011
                    by Onthinice
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                    Frozen
                    When the snowplow guy comes up, make sure you don't all yell really loud in unison, because there's a chance he might actually hear that.
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                      Posted, 8th February 2011
                      by Onthinice
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                      Frozen
                      When skiing and snowboarding, be sure you NEVER bring your cell phone.
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                        Posted, 8th February 2011
                        by Onthinice
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