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Mystery Men
Dad, I am going to my room with three strange men.
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    Posted, 10th June 2013
    by Ownagepants
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    Fast & Furious 6
    when talking about your relationship with another main character and how you wanna get serious it means one or both of you are gonna die
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      Posted, 10th June 2013
      by Ownagepants
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      Mystery Men
      Something is definitely gonna happen to those cops.
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        Posted, 10th June 2013
        by Ownagepants
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        Mystery Men
        Pepsi sponsors superheros.
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          Posted, 10th June 2013
          by Ownagepants
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          Mystery Men
          Old folks homes; that's where you go to find a lady.
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            Posted, 10th June 2013
            by Ownagepants
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            Mystery Men
            He does not deserve credit; I mean all he did was save you guys and stop the bad guys but whatever.
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              Posted, 10th June 2013
              by Ownagepants
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              Mystery Men
              Spoons are not very good weapons.
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                Posted, 10th June 2013
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                Mystery Men
                It's time to reconsider being a super hero when the henchmen are beating you up.
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                  Posted, 10th June 2013
                  by Ownagepants
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                  Mystery Men
                  When you're a super hero, throw things at people for no reason than to check your accuracy.
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                    Posted, 10th June 2013
                    by Ownagepants
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                    Mystery Men
                    When you're robbing old people, make sure to take their false teeth.
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                      Posted, 10th June 2013
                      by Ownagepants
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                      Identity Thief
                      About 10% is a high percentage.
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                        Posted, 7th June 2013
                        by Ownagepants
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                        Identity Thief
                        He knew what she meant by "hitting it hard."
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                          Posted, 7th June 2013
                          by Ownagepants
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                          Identity Thief
                          Nothing weird about a meeting in a parking garage, especially when the first thing the person asks is if you like getting fucked.
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                            Posted, 7th June 2013
                            by Ownagepants
                            1
                            Identity Thief
                            Losing 40% of your workforce is something to be happy about; it's an impressive number.
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                              Posted, 7th June 2013
                              by Ownagepants
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                              Identity Thief
                              Most major cities have mines.
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                                Posted, 7th June 2013
                                by Ownagepants
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                                Identity Thief
                                Stealing means you're gonna get cake in the face.
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                                  Posted, 7th June 2013
                                  by Ownagepants
                                  1
                                  Identity Thief
                                  Barfing into the breathalyzer means you probably failed.
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                                    Posted, 7th June 2013
                                    by Ownagepants
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                                    Identity Thief
                                    If you answer someone, they know you can hear them.
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                                      Posted, 7th June 2013
                                      by Ownagepants
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                                      Senseless
                                      Piss on me; I am on fire.
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                                        Posted, 30th May 2013
                                        by Ownagepants
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                                        Senseless
                                        That guy's breath smelled so bad you could see it.
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                                          Posted, 30th May 2013
                                          by Ownagepants
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                                          Senseless
                                          When first experiencing super hearing everyone will sound like a ghost.
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                                            Posted, 30th May 2013
                                            by Ownagepants
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                                            Senseless
                                            You can inject me with Ebola virus for 3000 dollars.
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                                              Posted, 30th May 2013
                                              by Ownagepants
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                                              Senseless
                                              It takes a big man to admit your fraternity is a bunch of nerds.
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                                                Posted, 30th May 2013
                                                by Ownagepants
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                                                Senseless
                                                He's hoping it's hidden valley.
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                                                  Posted, 30th May 2013
                                                  by Ownagepants
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                                                  Senseless
                                                  Brad Pitt in "Interview with a Vampire" can turn people bisexual.
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                                                    Posted, 30th May 2013
                                                    by Ownagepants
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