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Shark Tale
Be careful next time you sail out to sea and drop anchor. It might kill a shark.
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    Posted, 13th April 2016
    by Footballfan
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    Falling Down
    Gang members performing a drive-by shooting will hit everything except the man they're aiming for.
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    • 9th April 2016 by john2012
      That is because they went to the same school that teaches Storm troopers how to shoot.
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    Posted, 7th April 2016
    by Footballfan
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    Falling Down
    The worst thing about being stabbed in the shoulder with a switchblade is the fact that it's not yours.
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      Posted, 7th April 2016
      by Footballfan
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      Falling Down
      Ahh, that old cliche where the Sergeant has to work on a case the same day as his retirement.
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        Posted, 7th April 2016
        by Footballfan
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        Falling Down
        Don't ask the guy why he's trespassing on your golf course. Just try and hit him in the head with a ball because that'll make the situation easier.
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          Posted, 7th April 2016
          by Footballfan
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          Falling Down
          Young boys can learn how to operate a bazooka from watching TV.
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            Posted, 7th April 2016
            by Footballfan
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            Falling Down
            People really need to be more clear when they tell you they're a vet.
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              Posted, 7th April 2016
              by Footballfan
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              Falling Down
              Nobody knows how much money the U.S gave to Korea. But it's gotta be a lot.
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                Posted, 7th April 2016
                by Footballfan
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                Falling Down
                Bill's been working the same job for seven years and still calls his boss Mister.
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                  Posted, 7th April 2016
                  by Footballfan
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                  Falling Down
                  If gang members wrote their territory signs in English instead of using a weird symbol, maybe we could understand what it means.
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                    Posted, 7th April 2016
                    by Footballfan
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                    Falling Down
                    Vandalising a convenience store because the owner charged you 85 cents for a soda is legal because you're technically standing up for your rights as a consumer.
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                      Posted, 7th April 2016
                      by Footballfan
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                      Falling Down
                      It's perfectly normal for someone to vomit the second after you ask them if their food tastes good. Even if it's been a couple of minutes since they actually swallowed the food.
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                        Posted, 7th April 2016
                        by Footballfan
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                        Spider-Man 2
                        Society photographers are prone to getting hit in the head by polo balls.
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                          Posted, 14th March 2016
                          by Footballfan
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                          Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory
                          Television microphones are edible.
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                            Posted, 19th February 2016
                            by Footballfan
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                            Deadpool
                            Beast frequently takes a dump on Wade's lawn and he's sick of it.
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                              Posted, 19th February 2016
                              by Footballfan
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                              Deadpool
                              You can light a match inside an oxygen chamber despite there being hardly any oxygen.
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                                Posted, 19th February 2016
                                by Footballfan
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                                Deadpool
                                Robin might be in love with Batman.
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                                  Posted, 19th February 2016
                                  by Footballfan
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                                  Deadpool
                                  Even though your girlfriend is in danger, spend time spelling out the bad guy's name using the dead bodies of his henchmen.
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                                    Posted, 19th February 2016
                                    by Footballfan
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                                    Deadpool
                                    A house that gets blown up every couple of years isn't all bad. It builds character.
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                                      Posted, 19th February 2016
                                      by Footballfan
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                                      Deadpool
                                      You're probably wondering whos balls Deadpool had to fondle to get his own movie. He can't tell you his name, but it rhymes with Pullverine.
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                                        Posted, 19th February 2016
                                        by Footballfan
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                                        Deadpool
                                        You know what they call cancer in Spain? El Cancer.
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                                          Posted, 19th February 2016
                                          by Footballfan
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                                          Deadpool
                                          There is a huge pile of cocaine hidden somewhere in Blind Al's apartment. Right next to the cure for blindness.
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                                            Posted, 19th February 2016
                                            by Footballfan
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                                            Deadpool
                                            Wade Wilson will shoot your cat.
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                                              Posted, 19th February 2016
                                              by Footballfan
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                                              Deadpool
                                              Ryan Reynolds is God's perfect idiot.
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                                                Posted, 16th February 2016
                                                by Footballfan
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                                                Deadpool
                                                Having a man go down on you while wearing toy Dracula fangs is not pleasant.
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                                                  Posted, 16th February 2016
                                                  by Footballfan
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