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Max Headroom
Override Censor? Good God, Murray! I'm the Chairman, not the Creator!
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    Posted, 16th June 2015
    by zikzak393
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    Max Headroom
    Y'know... I get the feeling there's a lot of faces out there... watching... me! And I can tell you it brings a lump to my ratings. Yes, this is Network 23. The net-net-net-net-network that puts it right... where they want you to be!
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      Posted, 16th June 2015
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      Max Headroom
      As, 'tis Max Headroom here, and I quote from the bard, Shakespeare, a writer: ''The quality of TV is not strained, it dropeth as the gentle ratings dropeth to a very tiny percentage share and, lo, 'tis gone.'' Of course, Shakespeare would have loved your rating system. Twelfth Night would have been lucky to have lasted 'one'!
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        Posted, 16th June 2015
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        Max Headroom
        Converts are the worst bigots.
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          Posted, 16th June 2015
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          Max Headroom
          ''I have noted three 'damns,' four 'hells,' sixteen cases of sexual innuendo, a reference to self-abuse, two veiled remarks about network presidents, and a joke about the Son of God.'' Doesn't say which god.
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            Posted, 16th June 2015
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            Max Headroom
            What happened to the old religions? I don't know. Television killed it. We have better miracles.
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              Posted, 16th June 2015
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              Max Headroom
              Well, most people would agree that censors are a silly breed. In fact, it surprising how they ever manage to breed at all.
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                Posted, 16th June 2015
                by zikzak393
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                Max Headroom
                Yes, t-t-t-t-tune into Network 23! The network that's a 'real' mind-blower! And I love, love, l-l-love... love those blip-blip-blip-blipverts!
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                  Posted, 16th June 2015
                  by zikzak393
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                  Max Headroom
                  What do men do when women are distressed? Run away or boast, normally.
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                    Posted, 16th June 2015
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                    Max Headroom
                    Ah - love - the walks over soft grass, the smiles over candlelight, the fights over just about everything else...
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                      Posted, 16th June 2015
                      by zikzak393
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                      Max Headroom
                      The loudest sound in the universe is the last heartbeat.
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                        Posted, 16th June 2015
                        by zikzak393
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                        Max Headroom
                        There are no experimental failures. There's only more data!
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                          Posted, 16th June 2015
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                          Max Headroom
                          Those that can, do. Those that can't, censor it.
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                            Posted, 16th June 2015
                            by zikzak393
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                            Max Headroom
                            Have you any idea how successful censorship is on TV? Don't know the answer? Hmm. Successful, isn't it?
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                              Posted, 16th June 2015
                              by zikzak393
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                              Max Headroom
                              Now, I'm no librarian, in fact, I don't know what star sign I am. But, as a famous person once said, ''You can fool some of the people some of the time, but you can't fool all of the people all of the time.'' And as I - another more famous person - once said, ''If you don't teach them to read, you can fool them whenever you like.''
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                                Posted, 16th June 2015
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                                Max Headroom
                                Zik-Zak... We make everything you need and you need everything we make.
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                                  Posted, 16th June 2015
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                                  Animal House
                                  You're out! Finished at Faber! Expelled! I want you off this campus at nine o'clock Monday morning, and I've contacted your local draft boards and told them that you were all, all eligible for military service.
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                                    Posted, 16th June 2015
                                    by zikzak393
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                                    Animal House
                                    Put Neidermeyer on it. He's a sneaky little shit just like you.
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                                      Posted, 16th June 2015
                                      by zikzak393
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                                      Animal House
                                      I'm sorry, I can only stay a minute. Can I buy you some lunch? Oh, you got your lunch. Well, how about some milk? Got your milk too. Can I just massage your thighs while you eat?
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                                        Posted, 16th June 2015
                                        by zikzak393
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                                        Animal House
                                        Who dropped a whole truckload of fizzies into the varsity swim meet? Who delivered the medical school cadavers to the alumni dinner? Every Halloween, the trees are filled with underwear. Every spring, the toilets explode.
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                                          Posted, 16th June 2015
                                          by zikzak393
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                                          Animal House
                                          But you can't hold a whole fraternity responsible for the behavior of a few, sick twisted individuals. For if you do, then shouldn't we blame the whole fraternity system? And if the whole fraternity system is guilty, then isn't this an indictment of our educational institutions in general? I put it to you, Greg - isn't this an indictment of our entire American society? Well, you can do whatever you want to us, but we're not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America. Gentlemen!
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                                            Posted, 16th June 2015
                                            by zikzak393
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                                            Animal House
                                            Sing, ''I gave my love a cherry / That had no stone / I gave my love a chicken / That had no bones / I gave my love a story / That had no end / I gave my... '' and get your guitar smashed.
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                                              Posted, 16th June 2015
                                              by zikzak393
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                                              Animal House
                                              Sophomore dies in kiln explosion? Oh My God! I just talked to her last week... She was going to make a pot for me.
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                                                Posted, 16th June 2015
                                                by zikzak393
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                                                Animal House
                                                Hey, it's gotta work better than the truth.
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                                                  Posted, 16th June 2015
                                                  by zikzak393
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                                                  Animal House
                                                  And most recently of all, a ''Roman Toga Party'' was held from which we have received more than two dozen reports of individual acts of perversion SO profound and disgusting that decorum prohibits listing them here.
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                                                    Posted, 16th June 2015
                                                    by zikzak393
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