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Raw Deal
If you're very hard to fit, don't loose the clothing that fits you, even during a shootout.
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    Posted, 9th June 2016
    by Garga
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    Raw Deal
    A woman you hardly know won't leave you unless you give her a quarter of million dollars and she disappears like magic.
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      Posted, 9th June 2016
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      Raw Deal
      School buses which are used for assassination only move in strait lines and cannot possibly turn.
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        Posted, 9th June 2016
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        Conan the Barbarian
        Conan is so badass, when he throws fire at a stone pillar, the pillar and the whole structure burns.
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          Posted, 8th June 2016
          by Garga
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          Conan the Barbarian
          Conan is so powerful, even when he tries to hit the enemy and misses by a foot the enemy still gets killed.
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            Posted, 8th June 2016
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            Conan the Barbarian
            Always keep a handful of fake blood ready and when your enemy slashes you, splash it on your shoulder.
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              Posted, 8th June 2016
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              Conan the Barbarian
              Pray sincerely to your god but warn him if he doesn't answer your prayer to hell with him.
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                Posted, 8th June 2016
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                Conan the Barbarian
                German Shepherd is an ancient breed of dogs.
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                  Conan the Barbarian
                  Camels hold a grudge. Conan, don't tell me I didn't warn you.
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                    Posted, 8th June 2016
                    by Garga
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                    Conan the Barbarian
                    When you talk to snakes you must pay good attention to the letter S: Sssssseek!
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                      Posted, 8th June 2016
                      by Garga
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                      Conan the Barbarian
                      Turning a grain wheel for a really long time can make you an expert in melee combat.
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                        Posted, 8th June 2016
                        by Garga
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                        Commando
                        Fat gay ex-commandos who look like Freddy Mercury hold a grudge if you fire them from your unit.
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                          Posted, 8th June 2016
                          by Garga
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                          Commando
                          ''Amphibian'' planes use an extinguishable and totally different kind of fuel than other planes.
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                            Posted, 8th June 2016
                            by Garga
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                            Commando
                            Head on collisions with a lamp post at 60 mph are not such a big deal. Not even if you don't have a seat belt or even a seat.
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                              Posted, 8th June 2016
                              by Garga
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                              Commando
                              An 11 hours flight somehow takes about 24 hours.
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                                Posted, 8th June 2016
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                                Commando
                                You don't want to know what's inside Jenny Matrix's sandwiches.
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                                  Posted, 8th June 2016
                                  by Garga
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                                  Commando
                                  Somewhere... somehow... someone's going to pay
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                                    Posted, 8th June 2016
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                                    Commando
                                    A villain's mansion on a tropical island needs a huge boiler room with a lot of boilers and lots and lots of steam.
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                                      Posted, 8th June 2016
                                      by Garga
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                                      Commando
                                      Beating the machines that refuse to start works every time.
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                                        Posted, 8th June 2016
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                                        Commando
                                        There's no need to worry about your fingerprints in a motel room where a dude got impaled.
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                                          Posted, 8th June 2016
                                          by Garga
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                                          Pitch Black
                                          Richard B Riddick has a very keen sense of smelling. He can find out if you're a girl dressed as a boy by sniffing around.
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                                            Posted, 7th June 2016
                                            by Garga
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                                            Pitch Black
                                            If you walk towards a blue sun, you'll eventually find blue water.
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                                              Posted, 7th June 2016
                                              by Garga
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                                              Pitch Black
                                              In the future, space cargo ships will be built like a giant penis.
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                                                Posted, 7th June 2016
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                                                Pitch Black
                                                If you must crash land on a planet when deadly creatures come in darkness to screw you, do your best not to do that when you have only a few hours of it's 22 years long day.
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                                                  Posted, 7th June 2016
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                                                  Pitch Black
                                                  When you got out of the hole of doom infested with flesh-eating creatures, remember to remove the cord which you dragged across their nest very quickly.
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                                                    Posted, 7th June 2016
                                                    by Garga
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