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Furious 7
Racing in Tokyo will cause you to visibly age 10 years.
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    Posted, 17th September 2015
    by KungFuMasterLarry
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    Fantastic Four (2015)
    There aren't any safety or surveillance protocols to prevent unauthorized activation and use of teleportation pods, and any hammered moron can hop in and use them whenever they feel like it.
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      Posted, 17th September 2015
      by KungFuMasterLarry
      1
      Furious 7
      According to Dom, words ain't even been invented yet for what he plans to do to Deckard Shaw. Are you sure about that, Dom? Are you sure there aren't words for beat up, incapacitate, and send to prison?
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        Posted, 17th September 2015
        by KungFuMasterLarry
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        TERMINATOR GENISYS
        Kyle Reese seemed to have grown up well-fed and able to regularly hit the gym in the post-apocalyptic wasteland.
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          Posted, 27th August 2015
          by KungFuMasterLarry
          1
          Fantastic Four (2015)
          You know your movie based on a Marvel property is especially bad when Stan Lee is nowhere to be seen in it.
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            Posted, 19th August 2015
            by KungFuMasterLarry
            1
            Fantastic Four (2015)
            In addition to invisibility and force fields, Sue Storm also has the power of permanent bitch-face and ability to inexplicably change the look, length, and color of her hair from scene to scene.
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              Posted, 19th August 2015
              by KungFuMasterLarry
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              Fantastic Four (2015)
              When you see strange green ooze seeping from the cracks in the ground in the alternate dimension you irresponsibly went to, stick your hand in it. What could possibly go wrong?
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                Posted, 18th August 2015
                by KungFuMasterLarry
                1
                Fantastic Four (2015)
                Dr. Doom looks like a crash-test dummy.
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                Posted, 18th August 2015
                by KungFuMasterLarry
                1
                Fantastic Four (2015)
                Even when you cast a black guy as a superhero, you're apparently still obligated to shoehorn dated, stereotypical lines for him like "that's what I'm talkin' 'bout!"
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                  Posted, 18th August 2015
                  by KungFuMasterLarry
                  2
                  Fantastic Four (2015)
                  Kate Mara's wig: The Eighth Wonder of the World.
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                  • 20th September 2015 by agentdc7
                    Ugh. I didn't think it was going to look THAT different, but good grief were they even trying to make it look the same?
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                  Posted, 18th August 2015
                  by KungFuMasterLarry
                  1
                  Fantastic Four (2015)
                  Victor Von Doom has the powers to explode peoples' heads with a thought, and will do so to anyone who gets in his way-- except, of course, the four people who have powers and could possibly stop him.
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                    Posted, 18th August 2015
                    by KungFuMasterLarry
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                    Fantastic Four (2015)
                    The Thing's trademark catchphrase stems from an abusive childhood.
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                      Posted, 18th August 2015
                      by KungFuMasterLarry
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                      Fantastic Four (2015)
                      Don't even bother to ask your female colleague-- who helped construct the interdimensional travel machine-- if she wants to go to the other dimension with you, but hit up your buddy who had nothing to do with said construction and insist that he come with.
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                        Posted, 18th August 2015
                        by KungFuMasterLarry
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                        Fantastic Four (2015)
                        What's the point in showing the title characters get adjusted to and learn to master their powers? Just jump ahead a year!
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                          Posted, 18th August 2015
                          by KungFuMasterLarry
                          1
                          It Follows
                          After chloroforming, tying up, and infecting a girl with a Sexually-Transmitted Demon, once she and her friends find out where you live, you pretty much get off scot-free and without so much as a punch in the face.
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                            Posted, 28th May 2015
                            by KungFuMasterLarry
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                            The Boy Next Door
                            First-edition copies of The Iliad are just lying around at local garage sales. In pristine condition. And in hardcover format. In English. For a dollar.
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                              Posted, 26th February 2015
                              by KungFuMasterLarry
                              1
                              Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)
                              When some reporter takes pictures of you and risks proving your existence to the world, take her camera and wipe the pictures. More importantly, be sure to inform her of this fact, and give her camera back to her. Then leave in a manner that allows her to easily take more pictures.
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                                Posted, 26th February 2015
                                by KungFuMasterLarry
                                0
                                Taken 3
                                Replace the bald, slight, fairly harmless-looking actor with a stockier, devious-looking one with a full head of hair. Nothing jarring or confusing about that at all.
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                                • 8th January 2016 by Shellybabe
                                  Haha this is hilarious! And so true!
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                                Posted, 12th February 2015
                                by KungFuMasterLarry
                                1
                                The Boy Next Door
                                Writing vulgar graffiti on the wall of the boys' room, threatening, pinning, and dry-humping the object of your obsession is a pretty ineffective strategy.
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                                  Posted, 12th February 2015
                                  by KungFuMasterLarry
                                  0
                                  The Boy Next Door
                                  When you're walking through your friends house and the lights are off, and you know your dangerous stalker is out there somewhere, don't bother to call the police right away. Just snoop around the house with your phone light.
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                                    Posted, 12th February 2015
                                    by KungFuMasterLarry
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                                    The Boy Next Door
                                    Sometimes there's a conveniently-placed car engine hanging directly above the bad guyl.
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                                      Posted, 12th February 2015
                                      by KungFuMasterLarry
                                      0
                                      The Boy Next Door
                                      Your son won't suspect anything off about the guy next door, not even when he storms up to you, cursing, pointing, and talking to you in a visibly threatening manner.
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                                        Posted, 12th February 2015
                                        by KungFuMasterLarry
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                                        The Boy Next Door
                                        When the boy next door asks you to come over and help him cook chicken, chances are he's got more than chicken on his mind...
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                                          Posted, 12th February 2015
                                          by KungFuMasterLarry
                                          0
                                          The Boy Next Door
                                          When you're being stalked by your next door neighbor, who displays progressively violent and unstable behavior, continue letting your impressionable son hang out with him.
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                                            Posted, 12th February 2015
                                            by KungFuMasterLarry
                                            0
                                            The Boy Next Door
                                            When you beat the hell out of a kid, fracture his skull and nearly kill him, the school won't report it to the police, not even when you're technically an adult beating on a kid.
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                                              Posted, 12th February 2015
                                              by KungFuMasterLarry
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