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The Twilight Saga: New Moon

The Twilight Saga: New Moon
This list was started on 24th November 2009 by Adam
There are 206 learnings for this movie
This list was last updated on 16th February 2016

The Things I Learned . . .

1
Vampires, while easily killed by werewolves and other vampires, have not figured out how to kill themselves without traveling to another country and going through an elaborate judicial process.
(1) Comments
  • 17th April 2010 by Shaqbar
    LMAO you are hilarious
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Posted, 25th November 2009
by Adam
38
2
Werewolves, by definition, must have six pack abs and take every possible opportunity to show them off, even if it means standing in the rain topless waiting for someone to randomly stop by.
(2) Comments
  • 21st January 2010 by mirabella
    I'm agree with TexasGreatGrams, he wasn't just standing under the rain.
  • 14th January 2010 by TexasGreatGrams
    Jacob was NOT just walking in the rain, shirtless, waiting for Bella to drop in. He was on the way to meet up with the rest of the wolfpack
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Posted, 25th November 2009
by Adam
27
3
When you're a vampire and protecting your girlfriend from your newest family member, you have to fling her across the room and into a glass table to protect her.
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    Posted, 4th December 2009
    by Sharkboy
    26
    4
    "I LIKE WATCHING YOU SLEEP," is not creepy.
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      Posted, 4th December 2009
      by umm
      26
      5
      When transforming into a werewolf, remove your shirt so it won't get ripped apart. Don't worry about the pants though: they will stay intact and magically reapear once you transform back.
      (1) Comments
      • 14th January 2010 by TexasGreatGrams
        Jacob often carries his shorts in a band wrapped around his leg
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      Posted, 4th December 2009
      by SainaTsukino
      22
      6
      When planning a surprise birthday for your human girlfriend, make sure to invite the recently-turned vampire with self-control issues.
      (2) Comments
      • 27th January 2010 by Sazinata
        Jasper is a lot more recently turned to the vegetarian diet though.
      • 14th January 2010 by TexasGreatGrams
        Jasper is family-no matter that he has "vegetarian" issues. Besides, no one knew that Bella would cut herself.
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      Posted, 4th December 2009
      by Adam
      21
      7
      If a werewolf in wolf form sees a girl jump off a cliff, it will transform back into human form and take a break to put on clothes before leaping into the water to save her.
      (1) Comments
      • 14th January 2010 by TexasGreatGrams
        Jacob could not pull her from the water as a wolf-and he is able to control his phasing. This is one of the times he had his shorts tied around his leg.
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      Posted, 25th November 2009
      by Adam
      20
      8
      Vampires aren't allowed to kill in a way that will attract a lot of human attention, unless it involves killing entire groups of tourist at once.
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        Posted, 25th November 2009
        by Adam
        20
        9
        Just because she'll die for you doesn't mean she'll marry you.
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          Posted, 8th December 2009
          by WatcherAngel
          17
          10
          The best message you can possibly send to hundreds of thousands of preteen girls is that climbing on the back of a motorcycle with a random guy who looks an awful lot like a rapist is a positive thing.
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            Posted, 4th December 2009
            by osakapower
            16
            11
            Werewolves are absolutely forbidden to tell humans about their existence. They are, however, allowed to HINT that they're werewolves in a manner that's not unlike a guessing game.
            (1) Comments
            • 14th January 2010 by TexasGreatGrams
              Jacob was forbidden by the "alpha" wolf from telling her-but he had already told her in Twilight about the legend.
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            Posted, 2nd December 2009
            by Adam
            15
            12
            It's okay to fall for guys who sparkle, they aren't always gay.
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              Posted, 4th December 2009
              by Shauna
              15
              13
              the choice between necrophilia and beastiality is tough for a teenager....
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                Posted, 22nd December 2009
                by theattack
                14
                14
                A movie titled "Face Punch" will have nothing but gunshot sound effects.
                (3) Comments
                • 15th December 2010 by TigerLily
                  With a tittle like "Face Punch" you would think it wouldn't involve guns. I would think it would be a long the lines of "Fight Club."
                • 19th January 2010 by JUICE
                  BOTH of you, put your guns down...
                • 11th January 2010 by Freeman
                  Wilhelm Screams!!!! LMFAO
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                Posted, 25th November 2009
                by Adam
                13
                15
                The most effective way for a vampire to commit suicide is not using a stake, but going to a faraway country to suicide by sparkle.
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                  Posted, 4th December 2009
                  by SainaTsukino
                  13
                  16
                  When a misunderstanding over the phone occurs, don't press "dial back" but run to the last known location of the caller.
                  (1) Comments
                  • 21st January 2010 by mirabella
                    It wouldn't change nothing, Edward destroy the cellphone when he "knew" that Bella was dead
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                  Posted, 4th December 2009
                  by SainaTsukino
                  13
                  17
                  If your boyfriend dumps you, you will scream uninterruptedly at night for three months and your father will only be moderately annoyed.
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                    Posted, 4th December 2009
                    by Loli Pop
                    13
                    18
                    Female werewolves rarely (never) rip off their clothes. And that is a great disappointment.
                    (1) Comments
                    • 14th January 2010 by TexasGreatGrams
                      Read Eclipse-that is where the female werewolf (singularly) comes in. And she does sometime phase out of her clothes.
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                    Posted, 4th December 2009
                    by MokonaYi
                    12
                    19
                    A papercut can almost get you killed if you're surronded by vamps, but, hum, "womanly problems" go unnoticed.
                    (1) Comments
                    • 16th February 2016 by Garga
                      I read somewhere that they save and dry them "womanly problems" pads for later use as a ''tea bag''.
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                    Posted, 13th December 2009
                    by SainaTsukino
                    10
                    20
                    You can fall off a motorcycle that is skidding sideways and only get a few cuts, without bleeding, but when you get a paper cut you bleed all over yourself.
                    (1) Comments
                    • 6th September 2011 by Alaurien
                      the paper cut thing...was so stupid...honestly and no offense for anyone...is just..that they could do something better...like she accidentaly cut herself with a knife while cutting the cake xD ..but the paper cut.. daah...we have 1 of 2 choices: 1st the paper is as sharp as a cuisine knife...or 2nd she has hemophilia -.-'
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                    Posted, 4th December 2009
                    by Shauna
                    9
                    21
                    If you live with the sherriff of the town you are living in, you are more than likely to have at least three people break into your house, one of them to steal crap.
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                      Posted, 4th December 2009
                      by Shauna
                      9
                      22
                      The hardest decision a teenage girl can make is whether she wants to date the guy who wants to kill her or the one that drinks out of the toilet.
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                        Posted, 21st December 2009
                        by wolfgirl92
                        9
                        23
                        Zombie movies are metaphors for leprosy and consumerism.
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                          Posted, 25th November 2009
                          by Adam
                          8
                          24
                          If you're a wise old man who knows all about mythology and whose son is a werewolf himself, don't seek refuge if you sense a vampire is near; instead, try to hunt her with your big, unwieldy shotgun.
                          (2) Comments
                          • 12th April 2010 by Ipreferpuma2cougar
                            Huh? I'm not following ......
                          • 14th January 2010 by TexasGreatGrams
                            Harry was NOT Jacob's father. He wasn't hunting the vampire-he was trying to save Charlie's life.
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                          Posted, 2nd December 2009
                          by Adam
                          8
                          25
                          You don't need a passport to go to Italy.
                          (1) Comments
                          • 15th December 2010 by TigerLily
                            The vampires' have passports too. It's explained in the 4th book (I don't want to give the details for those who haven't read it) ;-)
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                          Posted, 4th December 2009
                          by SainaTsukino
                          8
                          26
                          Edward's mind-reading ability would be of great use to the Volturi, even though they have someone with Edward's exact power, only much magnified.
                          (2) Comments
                          • 2nd February 2010 by Eibhlinn Savage
                            yeah they should probably have explained that in the movie, that Aro may read every thought you've ever had but needs to touch you while that Edward can read your current thoughts from a couple miles away.
                          • 14th January 2010 by TexasGreatGrams
                            Edward does not have to physically touch the person to read their mind.
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                          Posted, 25th November 2009
                          by Adam
                          7
                          27
                          You have to fall for a man who comes up to you and says, "I'm bad for you" But can't fall for your best friend who is trying to protect you from the bad.
                          (1) Comments
                          • 22nd January 2010 by nuknuk
                            well, bad boys are hot =))
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                          Posted, 4th December 2009
                          by Shauna
                          7
                          28
                          When you look at vampires through a werewolf's eyes, they look a lot more dead.
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                            Posted, 4th December 2009
                            by Shauna
                            7
                            29
                            If a town is named after silverware that could possibly kill you, beware.
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                              Posted, 5th December 2009
                              by NanaNekoz
                              7
                              30
                              Being in an elevater with five vampires and stuck listening to opera on the way down is...awkward.
                              (1) Comments
                              • 2nd February 2010 by Eibhlinn Savage
                                They play elevator music in the vampire lair of Volterra
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                              Posted, 5th December 2009
                              by Jyanchan
                              7
                              31
                              If your boyfriend gets controlled by a brooding alpha werewolf who stared at him menacingly for half the movie, the worst you can expect is that he'll get a haircut and maybe a tattoo.
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                                Posted, 2nd December 2009
                                by Adam
                                6
                                32
                                It's better to leave someone alone and defenseless against immortal beings trying to kill them than it is to stay with them and possibly cause a few bruises or papercuts.
                                (1) Comments
                                • 14th January 2010 by TexasGreatGrams
                                  Even Edward admitted that he was very wrong
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                                Posted, 2nd December 2009
                                by Adam
                                6
                                33
                                Papercuts attract vampires.
                                (1) Comments
                                • 12th April 2010 by Ipreferpuma2cougar
                                  What the hell did Carlise & Esme use to wrap the gift? Wouldn't tape have been simplier than roofing nails?
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                                Posted, 4th December 2009
                                by Shauna
                                6
                                34
                                All that glitters is not gold.
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                                  Posted, 4th December 2009
                                  by Adam
                                  6
                                  35
                                  If you're not human, you would rather enter through the window than the door.
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                                    Posted, 4th December 2009
                                    by Shauna
                                    6
                                    36
                                    Vampires are perfectly okay with Grand Theft Auto, if the car is pretty enough.
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                                      Posted, 4th December 2009
                                      by Shauna
                                      6
                                      37
                                      To be viewed as a food source is the ultimate form of loooove!!
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                                        Posted, 4th December 2009
                                        by umm
                                        6
                                        38
                                        A Mary Sue as a main character makes the movie that much more popular for preteen girls
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                                          Posted, 6th December 2009
                                          by SainaTsukino
                                          6
                                          39
                                          Edward is a slow learner. That's twice he's left Bella alone, thinking she would be safer, only to have someone with a grudge against him attempt to kill her.
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                                            Posted, 19th January 2010
                                            by NateSean
                                            6
                                            40
                                            When you are 108 years old and dating a 17 year old, being a vampire let's you off the hook from pedophilia
                                            (2) Comments
                                            • 13th February 2010 by nuknuk
                                              nice =)
                                            • 2nd February 2010 by Eibhlinn Savage
                                              well she IS over the age of consent and they're not having sex anyway because he watched too many Jonas Brothers music videos.
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                                            Posted, 22nd January 2010
                                            by nuknuk
                                            6
                                            41
                                            Alice cannot forsee paper cuts
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                                              Posted, 24th April 2010
                                              by seeker9
                                              6
                                              42
                                              They'll let any old riff raff into public schools.
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                                                Posted, 26th November 2009
                                                by Adam
                                                5
                                                43
                                                Love spelled backwards is "love" - not "evol."
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                                                  Posted, 25th November 2009
                                                  by Adam
                                                  5
                                                  44
                                                  Using the "jump off a tall place" trick from the old Superman movie does NOT work for vampires.
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                                                    Posted, 2nd December 2009
                                                    by Adam
                                                    5
                                                    45
                                                    Vampires who are over 100 years old would rather leave town to live with their parents and siblings than stay behind and live on their own with the girl they love.
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                                                      Posted, 2nd December 2009
                                                      by Adam
                                                      5
                                                      46
                                                      Even as a werewolf, your coat is always naturally groomed and never has any defects.
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                                                        Posted, 4th December 2009
                                                        by Shauna
                                                        5
                                                        47
                                                        There's nothing wrong with suicide attempts bringing you closer to your beloved.
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                                                          Posted, 4th December 2009
                                                          by chobi chi
                                                          5
                                                          48
                                                          Werewolves are not hairy.
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                                                            Posted, 4th December 2009
                                                            by TripleZ
                                                            5
                                                            49
                                                            To anyone who is considering jumping off of a highly elevated cliff into a rocky ocean grave for the sole purpose of seeing hallucinations of your sparkly yet abandonment-prone boyfriend: try heroin.
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                                                              Posted, 17th December 2009
                                                              by vaccuum
                                                              5
                                                              50
                                                              If vampirism makes one beautiful, explain Marcus.
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                                                              Posted, 25th December 2009
                                                              by wiinterrr
                                                              5
                                                              51
                                                              Geeks are ugly, but sickly, pale, 100 year old vampires are considered hot.
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                                                                Posted, 29th December 2009
                                                                by Wolfie7
                                                                5
                                                                52
                                                                When you become a werewolf - you get a tat, a haircut, lose your shirt and are perpetually hot.
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                                                                  Posted, 9th January 2010
                                                                  by kerina
                                                                  5
                                                                  53
                                                                  Bella has become THE TEASE FROM HELL!!!
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                                                                    Posted, 22nd January 2010
                                                                    by mannerino
                                                                    5
                                                                    54
                                                                    Being on either Team Edward *or* Team Jacob is pretty stupid when the book revealing who Bella ends up with has already been released.
                                                                    (1) Comments
                                                                    • 17th August 2011 by tina270
                                                                      that's what i say. just be team twilight
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                                                                    Posted, 12th March 2010
                                                                    by ekedolphin
                                                                    5
                                                                    55
                                                                    Only one minor character in an entire family of vampires who supposedly love you very much will raise any concerns whatsoever about you deciding to become a soulless, undead vampire forever.
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                                                                    Posted, 2nd December 2009
                                                                    by Adam
                                                                    4
                                                                    56
                                                                    If you eat animals you're a vegetarian vampire, but if you eat people you automatically become a monster. What if you eat both, does that make you an omni-vore?
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                                                                      Posted, 4th December 2009
                                                                      by Shauna
                                                                      4
                                                                      57
                                                                      If someone directly tells you "Don't do anything stupid..." the first thing you are naturally going to do is stupid, or to just sit there and cry. Either way...pretty stupid.
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                                                                        Posted, 4th December 2009
                                                                        by Shauna
                                                                        4
                                                                        58
                                                                        It doesn't matter whether the movie is terrible or not, because at least 30% of girls going to see it are only there to see a shirtless hottie.
                                                                        (1) Comments
                                                                        • 11th January 2010 by Freeman
                                                                          Awfully True
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                                                                        Posted, 12th December 2009
                                                                        by Melodicanth
                                                                        4
                                                                        59
                                                                        It's okay to ignore your dad's pal's death to pursue your love and continue ignoring it when you get your love back.
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                                                                          Posted, 25th December 2009
                                                                          by blah and more blah
                                                                          4
                                                                          60
                                                                          Vampires do show up on film.
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                                                                            Posted, 26th December 2009
                                                                            by Halfsh0t
                                                                            4
                                                                            61
                                                                            Vampires enjoy elevator music.
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                                                                              Posted, 13th January 2010
                                                                              by magpie34
                                                                              4
                                                                              62
                                                                              If your vampire boyfriend asks you to take a walk with him after a few days of not speaking to you...heads up, it will not end well.
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                                                                                Posted, 18th January 2010
                                                                                by Sassy
                                                                                4
                                                                                63
                                                                                Scoffing is a perfectly, not at all annoying way to express one self verbally.
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                                                                                Posted, 19th January 2010
                                                                                by Sassy
                                                                                4
                                                                                64
                                                                                Nothing happens to you if you sleep alone in the woods.
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                                                                                  Posted, 14th February 2010
                                                                                  by Vah Shellsing
                                                                                  4
                                                                                  65
                                                                                  Vampires are emo- except they shop at gap.
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                                                                                    Posted, 5th March 2010
                                                                                    by Gousfbulls
                                                                                    4
                                                                                    66
                                                                                    sparkling blood sucking cold pale vampires are irresistible these days
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                                                                                      Posted, 21st April 2010
                                                                                      by helenhysteria
                                                                                      4
                                                                                      67
                                                                                      If you move up to Forks, Washington you never have to actually attend school if your dad is the town doctor. Everyone is just okay with you being gone for weeks at a time without question.
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                                                                                        Posted, 4th December 2009
                                                                                        by Shauna
                                                                                        3
                                                                                        68
                                                                                        As a werewolf you are required to either go shirtless or wear a shirt to where it doesn't matter if it's on or not.
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                                                                                          Posted, 4th December 2009
                                                                                          by Shauna
                                                                                          3
                                                                                          69
                                                                                          If you move to Forks, Washington you will immediately be considered awesome and popular, and be liked by all the boys in the school.
                                                                                          (2) Comments
                                                                                          • 12th April 2010 by Ipreferpuma2cougar
                                                                                            Yeah .... that was pretty unrealistic! The new girl in town -- who is a klutz and very wallflowerish -- is immediately the most popular ... the "IT" girl ... in town! Yeah, as if!
                                                                                          • 10th January 2010 by vaccuum
                                                                                            Haha, it's true. I used to live in Forks :D
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                                                                                          Posted, 4th December 2009
                                                                                          by Shauna
                                                                                          3
                                                                                          70
                                                                                          You can't run with Vampires. They're fast.
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                                                                                            Posted, 26th December 2009
                                                                                            by Halfsh0t
                                                                                            3
                                                                                            71

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                                                                                              Posted, 28th December 2009
                                                                                              by SkyolaGrl
                                                                                              3
                                                                                              72
                                                                                              Werewolves can't wait for a full moon.
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                                                                                                Posted, 11th January 2010
                                                                                                by Freeman
                                                                                                3
                                                                                                73
                                                                                                Werefols don't know the exact meaning of secret. Case in point: Jacob says "Have you ever had a secret... that you couldn't tell anyone?". Secret = sth that you can't tell anyone, right?
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                                                                                                  Posted, 22nd January 2010
                                                                                                  by nuknuk
                                                                                                  3
                                                                                                  74
                                                                                                  Girls who are flat, pale, awkward, emo, friendless and devoid of any interpersonal skills are definitely worth killing yourself on a different continent over.
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                                                                                                    Posted, 5th March 2010
                                                                                                    by Gousfbulls
                                                                                                    3
                                                                                                    75
                                                                                                    That if this 'piece of litrature' can get made into a movie; my writing can too!
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                                                                                                      Posted, 3rd April 2010
                                                                                                      by YesLiid
                                                                                                      3
                                                                                                      76
                                                                                                      Vampires should have their own self-help section in bookstores, maybe even an undead version of Dr. Phil. Edward and Bella could really use the help.
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                                                                                                        Posted, 25th May 2010
                                                                                                        by Movie Chic
                                                                                                        3
                                                                                                        77
                                                                                                        It's perfectly rational to stay with a guy who once slashed up your face when he threw a tantrum.
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                                                                                                          Posted, 6th June 2010
                                                                                                          by KungFuMasterLarry
                                                                                                          3
                                                                                                          78
                                                                                                          People who watch girls while they're sleeping: pedophiles, stalkers, violators and Edward Cullen.
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                                                                                                            Posted, 14th September 2010
                                                                                                            by 0zkr
                                                                                                            3
                                                                                                            79
                                                                                                            Nothing says I love you like "I'm going to kill myself in Italy."
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                                                                                                              Posted, 14th September 2010
                                                                                                              by 0zkr
                                                                                                              3
                                                                                                              80
                                                                                                              If you have expensive cars it's ok to be a pedophile.
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                                                                                                                Posted, 14th September 2010
                                                                                                                by 0zkr
                                                                                                                3
                                                                                                                81
                                                                                                                Just because a girl is beautiful DOES NOT mean you should follow her everywhere.
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                                                                                                                  Posted, 4th December 2009
                                                                                                                  by Shauna
                                                                                                                  2
                                                                                                                  82
                                                                                                                  After your boyfriend comes back from almost killing himself, you have to immediately choose between him and your best friend.
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                                                                                                                    Posted, 4th December 2009
                                                                                                                    by Sharkboy
                                                                                                                    2
                                                                                                                    83
                                                                                                                    If you are in a love fight between a vampire and a werewolf you are more than likely to have a whole bunch of nightmares if someone is not there for you.
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                                                                                                                      Posted, 4th December 2009
                                                                                                                      by Shauna
                                                                                                                      2
                                                                                                                      84
                                                                                                                      As a little side note: You should never tell another guy - who may or may not be a werewolf - that you love him right in front of a vampire who can kill you at any second. Especially when you love the vampire too.
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                                                                                                                        Posted, 4th December 2009
                                                                                                                        by Alazne Chan
                                                                                                                        2
                                                                                                                        85
                                                                                                                        If you see a fire in the ocean, you are either hallucinating or a crazy vampire, which is after you, is being chased by a bunch of giant wolves.
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                                                                                                                          Posted, 5th December 2009
                                                                                                                          by xXdeathnoteluvrzXx
                                                                                                                          2
                                                                                                                          86
                                                                                                                          Nearly dying for the sake of hallucinations is a perfectly logical idea!
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                                                                                                                            Posted, 12th December 2009
                                                                                                                            by Koda
                                                                                                                            2
                                                                                                                            87
                                                                                                                            Even vampires have bad hair days.
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                                                                                                                              Posted, 26th December 2009
                                                                                                                              by Halfsh0t
                                                                                                                              2
                                                                                                                              88
                                                                                                                              Going to Italy from Brasil takes 2 days less than going there from USA
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                                                                                                                                Posted, 22nd January 2010
                                                                                                                                by nuknuk
                                                                                                                                2
                                                                                                                                89
                                                                                                                                The requirements for being the perfect boyfriend: 1) Glittering 2)Having an appetite for the girl's blood 3) Being considerably older than the girl (like 100 years older) 4) Constantly abandoning her 5) Being suicidal 6)Being homicidal 7) Being pedophile 8) Breaking into her room to watch her sleep 9)Having great cars and a big house
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                                                                                                                                  Posted, 22nd January 2010
                                                                                                                                  by nuknuk
                                                                                                                                  2
                                                                                                                                  90
                                                                                                                                  It's cool to date underage girls; as long as you sparkle.
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                                                                                                                                    Posted, 5th March 2010
                                                                                                                                    by Gousfbulls
                                                                                                                                    2
                                                                                                                                    91
                                                                                                                                    werewolfs can cry.
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                                                                                                                                      Posted, 15th March 2010
                                                                                                                                      by mehak
                                                                                                                                      2
                                                                                                                                      92
                                                                                                                                      Werewolfs have better abs than vampires.
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                                                                                                                                        Posted, 17th March 2010
                                                                                                                                        by mehak
                                                                                                                                        2
                                                                                                                                        93
                                                                                                                                        Which one is Edward again?
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                                                                                                                                          Posted, 12th April 2010
                                                                                                                                          by DaMaser
                                                                                                                                          2
                                                                                                                                          94
                                                                                                                                          That vampires when running through the forest look alot like love sick humans running in slow mo'
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                                                                                                                                            Posted, 17th April 2010
                                                                                                                                            by Shaqbar
                                                                                                                                            2
                                                                                                                                            95
                                                                                                                                            Jasper Hale and Edward Scissorhands look strikingly similar.
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                                                                                                                                              Posted, 25th May 2010
                                                                                                                                              by Movie Chic
                                                                                                                                              2
                                                                                                                                              96
                                                                                                                                              Werewolves could benefit from learning some deep breathing exercises.
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                                                                                                                                                Posted, 25th May 2010
                                                                                                                                                by Movie Chic
                                                                                                                                                2
                                                                                                                                                97
                                                                                                                                                Teenage hysteria = box office movie
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                                                                                                                                                  Posted, 4th July 2010
                                                                                                                                                  by blogger de niro
                                                                                                                                                  2
                                                                                                                                                  98
                                                                                                                                                  If your girlfriend/possible snack kisses you, make a face of agony. That always turns them on ;)
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                                                                                                                                                    Posted, 19th July 2010
                                                                                                                                                    by LillyAnne
                                                                                                                                                    2
                                                                                                                                                    99
                                                                                                                                                    If someone was nearly to die, just take off your shirt, that solves everything
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                                                                                                                                                      Posted, 14th September 2010
                                                                                                                                                      by 0zkr
                                                                                                                                                      2
                                                                                                                                                      100
                                                                                                                                                      If you watch a girl while she's sleeping you're not a pervert it's just you love her.
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                                                                                                                                                        Posted, 14th September 2010
                                                                                                                                                        by 0zkr
                                                                                                                                                        2
                                                                                                                                                        101
                                                                                                                                                        Who says sparks is gay? It helps you get some girls.
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                                                                                                                                                          Posted, 14th September 2010
                                                                                                                                                          by 0zkr
                                                                                                                                                          2
                                                                                                                                                          102
                                                                                                                                                          The Jersey Shore kids are probably all werewolves.
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                                                                                                                                                            Posted, 21st October 2010
                                                                                                                                                            by Danny
                                                                                                                                                            2
                                                                                                                                                            103
                                                                                                                                                            Bella doesn't need to be turned into a vampire, she already acts like the living undead.
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                                                                                                                                                              Posted, 8th January 2011
                                                                                                                                                              by Muse
                                                                                                                                                              2
                                                                                                                                                              104
                                                                                                                                                              After nearly getting killed several times, it's best to rely on others to save you as opposed to learning the very basics of self-defense.
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                                                                                                                                                                Posted, 23rd October 2011
                                                                                                                                                                by Abrina7
                                                                                                                                                                2
                                                                                                                                                                105
                                                                                                                                                                If no mind-reader can read your mind, it does NOT mean your mind is blank. nuh-huh.
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                                                                                                                                                                  Posted, 6th December 2009
                                                                                                                                                                  by SainaTsukino
                                                                                                                                                                  1
                                                                                                                                                                  106
                                                                                                                                                                  Girls in a movie theater will go "oooh" when they see Jacob take his shirt off but in Edward's first shirtless scene one girl will shout, "ick" to the applause of the rest of the theater. (Actually happened when I went to see this. Poor Rob.)
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                                                                                                                                                                  • 2nd February 2010 by Eibhlinn Savage
                                                                                                                                                                    yeah i'm reading a lot of things about Rob's weird possibly CGI nipple...
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                                                                                                                                                                  Posted, 25th December 2009
                                                                                                                                                                  by NateSean
                                                                                                                                                                  1
                                                                                                                                                                  107
                                                                                                                                                                  When being held by the throat from a vampire you will continue to look tough only to suffer a heart attack after the werewolf whose paw print you just erased saves you from her.
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                                                                                                                                                                    Posted, 25th December 2009
                                                                                                                                                                    by CowgirlJ
                                                                                                                                                                    1
                                                                                                                                                                    108
                                                                                                                                                                    There's a vampire hunting you, your best friend (a werewolf) is hunting the vampire, and your father is hunting your best friend. What's the best thing you can do? Going to leapt into the water from a cliff.
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                                                                                                                                                                      Posted, 18th January 2010
                                                                                                                                                                      by mirabella
                                                                                                                                                                      1
                                                                                                                                                                      109
                                                                                                                                                                      While practically fooling around with your friend's six pack ( who you know loves you), keep talking about how much you love your ex-boyfriend.
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                                                                                                                                                                        Posted, 22nd January 2010
                                                                                                                                                                        by mannerino
                                                                                                                                                                        1
                                                                                                                                                                        110
                                                                                                                                                                        I am handsome, a great listener and have a spectacular abs, but i you make me angry i will ravage your face with my wolf claws.
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                                                                                                                                                                          Posted, 4th July 2010
                                                                                                                                                                          by blogger de niro
                                                                                                                                                                          1
                                                                                                                                                                          111
                                                                                                                                                                          I am handsome, a great listener with six pack abs... but if you make me angry i will ravage your face with my wolf claws.
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                                                                                                                                                                            Posted, 4th July 2010
                                                                                                                                                                            by blogger de niro
                                                                                                                                                                            1
                                                                                                                                                                            112
                                                                                                                                                                            Worst werewolf transformations ever.
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                                                                                                                                                                              Posted, 30th August 2010
                                                                                                                                                                              by LonelyShadow
                                                                                                                                                                              1
                                                                                                                                                                              113
                                                                                                                                                                              Old vampires movies: vampires are scary. New vampire movies: emo girl and anemic vampire want to get laid.
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                                                                                                                                                                                Posted, 14th September 2010
                                                                                                                                                                                by 0zkr
                                                                                                                                                                                1
                                                                                                                                                                                114
                                                                                                                                                                                Being surrounded by a school full of pubescent girls on their monthlies is much less tempting than a paper cut.
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                                                                                                                                                                                  Posted, 1st December 2010
                                                                                                                                                                                  by Muse
                                                                                                                                                                                  1
                                                                                                                                                                                  115
                                                                                                                                                                                  All impressionable teens are gonna watch this movie and get 1 thing out of it.. If he says he doesn't want me it's only to protect me. He doesn't really mean it.
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                                                                                                                                                                                    Posted, 16th June 2011
                                                                                                                                                                                    by NVxvi
                                                                                                                                                                                    1
                                                                                                                                                                                    116
                                                                                                                                                                                    Your dad won't let you see the one man you care about and have been with for a long time, but he's okay with you going to another town to watch a movie with a girl you barely know, but calls herself your friend.
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                                                                                                                                                                                      Posted, 4th December 2009
                                                                                                                                                                                      by Shauna
                                                                                                                                                                                      0
                                                                                                                                                                                      117
                                                                                                                                                                                      If you have a vampire as a best friend you either have to have an awesome car, or your car has to have an awesome sound system.
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                                                                                                                                                                                        Posted, 4th December 2009
                                                                                                                                                                                        by Shauna
                                                                                                                                                                                        0
                                                                                                                                                                                        118
                                                                                                                                                                                        People have been telling Bella to just go jump off a cliff for months now... im glad she finally listened to someone other than herself (oh, and if you start hearing and seeing your ex-boyfriend without him actually being there, that's a good sign that you should start seeing a psycologist).
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                                                                                                                                                                                          Posted, 7th December 2009
                                                                                                                                                                                          by LadyDaralis
                                                                                                                                                                                          0
                                                                                                                                                                                          119
                                                                                                                                                                                          When you've almost been supper for your vampire boyfriend's newly vegetarian brother, it is a good idea to act sexy (read:creepy eyes) and ask for a birthday kiss after the ordeal, thereby making sure your overprotective boyfriend won't do anything rash ... such as require the entire family to lose contact with you for months.
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                                                                                                                                                                                            Posted, 8th December 2009
                                                                                                                                                                                            by Silver
                                                                                                                                                                                            0
                                                                                                                                                                                            120
                                                                                                                                                                                            Leprosy isn't funny.
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                                                                                                                                                                                              Posted, 12th December 2009
                                                                                                                                                                                              by irg19
                                                                                                                                                                                              0
                                                                                                                                                                                              121
                                                                                                                                                                                              Watching this movie and talking smack about this movie have nothing to do with one another. The fact that you don't need to know that plot to do that makes it fun!
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                                                                                                                                                                                                Posted, 21st December 2009
                                                                                                                                                                                                by umm
                                                                                                                                                                                                0
                                                                                                                                                                                                122
                                                                                                                                                                                                Werewolves have telepathic abilities.
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                                                                                                                                                                                                • 19th January 2010 by NateSean
                                                                                                                                                                                                  In the books werewolves can communicate with each other when they're in animal form. Of course they never mention the abilities of characters other than Edward until it's convenient to the plot.
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                                                                                                                                                                                                Posted, 22nd December 2009
                                                                                                                                                                                                by k1ngv1rus
                                                                                                                                                                                                0
                                                                                                                                                                                                123
                                                                                                                                                                                                A newly vegetarian vampire will only use a paper cut as an excuse to attack a teenage girl, when the reality is he did it because she earlier shamed him into shutting his mouth due to her bad feelings of being wished a happy birthday.
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                                                                                                                                                                                                  Posted, 25th December 2009
                                                                                                                                                                                                  by CowgirlJ
                                                                                                                                                                                                  0
                                                                                                                                                                                                  124
                                                                                                                                                                                                  Middleaged women have no problem showing their lust over Edward shirtless seeing as how he's over a 100 years old. When Jacob removes his shirt they must contain a silent squeee to themselves for fear of being labeled as pedophiles.
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                                                                                                                                                                                                    Posted, 25th December 2009
                                                                                                                                                                                                    by CowgirlJ
                                                                                                                                                                                                    0
                                                                                                                                                                                                    125
                                                                                                                                                                                                    When you have a Vampire that loves you, would do anyting to keep you safe (even leave you), you have to try to kill yourself, (like leaping from a cliff) in order to see him again.....right.
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                                                                                                                                                                                                      Posted, 24th February 2010
                                                                                                                                                                                                      by Kayla Colleen
                                                                                                                                                                                                      0
                                                                                                                                                                                                      126
                                                                                                                                                                                                      when love of your life leaves you, the meadow once full of flowers gets dried up and the vampire once claiming to have nothing to do with your life shows up and is ready to kill you any moment.
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                                                                                                                                                                                                        Posted, 17th April 2010
                                                                                                                                                                                                        by mehak
                                                                                                                                                                                                        0
                                                                                                                                                                                                        127
                                                                                                                                                                                                        you can´t trust vampires,trust edward you can´t trust vampires,trust edward
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                                                                                                                                                                                                          Posted, 2nd May 2010
                                                                                                                                                                                                          by twilightera
                                                                                                                                                                                                          0
                                                                                                                                                                                                          128
                                                                                                                                                                                                          Daughters are never attracted to the men their fathers approve of. You parents would lean to keep their mouths shut, or attempt to use reverse psychology on their child. Charlie guaranteed Jacob had no chance with Bella when he said this: Can I ask you something? "Hanging out with Jake seems to take your mind off things for a bit, doesn't it? You know sometimes, you gotta learn to love what's good for you, you know what I mean?" >_
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                                                                                                                                                                                                            Posted, 24th May 2010
                                                                                                                                                                                                            by Movie Chic
                                                                                                                                                                                                            0
                                                                                                                                                                                                            129
                                                                                                                                                                                                            It's perfectly alright to go jump off a cliff and intentionally commit other brushes with death after your emotionally distant "vampire" boyfriend ditches you.
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                                                                                                                                                                                                              Posted, 6th June 2010
                                                                                                                                                                                                              by KungFuMasterLarry
                                                                                                                                                                                                              0
                                                                                                                                                                                                              130
                                                                                                                                                                                                              The best way to get around is on the back of a vampire. Vehicles just aren't fast enough!
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                                                                                                                                                                                                                Posted, 24th June 2010
                                                                                                                                                                                                                by horsepower995
                                                                                                                                                                                                                0
                                                                                                                                                                                                                131
                                                                                                                                                                                                                If you throw Bella into a glass table, abandon her in the middle of forest at night, torture her with images of your face as she tries to move on, give her horrible nightmares, go to Italy to get yourself killed and have her risk her own life to save yours, then be prepared to have her for life!
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                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Posted, 29th June 2010
                                                                                                                                                                                                                  by Nikki
                                                                                                                                                                                                                  0
                                                                                                                                                                                                                  132
                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Despite the pulling Bella out of depression and saving her life on numerous occasions and giving her a hell of a show with all those flashes of his body, Jacob SHOULD HAVE KNOWN it would always be Edward!!
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                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Posted, 29th June 2010
                                                                                                                                                                                                                    by Nikki
                                                                                                                                                                                                                    0
                                                                                                                                                                                                                    133
                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Wow, another vampire series, except this one features teenagers who twinkle in the sunlight, or is it tinkle? At any rate, the idiot doctor from nurse Jackie will be there dad, the tool from Harry potter will be the boyfriend, and that annoying little fool Dakota ' I can't act to save my life' fanning will be there as well... Boy, sign me up with all the teenage girls who don't have a life and hang on every detail of this moronic seris...
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                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Posted, 3rd July 2010
                                                                                                                                                                                                                      by jimmyz
                                                                                                                                                                                                                      0
                                                                                                                                                                                                                      134
                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Jacob is the new Teen Wolf!
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                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Posted, 26th October 2010
                                                                                                                                                                                                                        by Raajnie
                                                                                                                                                                                                                        0
                                                                                                                                                                                                                        135
                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Edward (the vampire) is hairier than Jacob (the werewolf) in human form.
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                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Posted, 1st December 2010
                                                                                                                                                                                                                          by Muse
                                                                                                                                                                                                                          0
                                                                                                                                                                                                                          136
                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Despite all looking at least 25 years old and having plenty of money and access to forged passports, it's obviously easier and way more fun for a family of century old vampires to continually enroll in small local high schools around the country to blend in with the townies without looking conspicuous driving 50 thousand dollar cars and casually giving Shakespearean soliloquies from memory - for eternity.
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                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Posted, 14th January 2011
                                                                                                                                                                                                                            by iyellonbusses
                                                                                                                                                                                                                            0
                                                                                                                                                                                                                            137
                                                                                                                                                                                                                            You can show real love while proving you're able to die (literally) for your beloved one.
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                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Posted, 30th July 2011
                                                                                                                                                                                                                              by Alaurien
                                                                                                                                                                                                                              0
                                                                                                                                                                                                                              138
                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Edward don't forget to protect Bella from Victoria you smartass...
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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Posted, 23rd August 2011
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                by Alaurien
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                0
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                139
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                So..you can't see Edward in a mirror, but you can take pics of him and you'll see him perfectly??? -.-'
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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Posted, 6th September 2011
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  by Alaurien
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  0
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  140
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Another thing....why would Edward want to commit suicide??? O.o ...In the 1st movie the only thing that happened to Bella was that James bit her. So what? She could have became a vampire, or not...Why the suicide thing, then?
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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Posted, 6th September 2011
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    by Alaurien
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    0
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    141
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Scarlett Fever magically disappears once you become a vampire. Including the skin rash.
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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Posted, 2nd October 2011
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      by lunaset
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      0
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      142
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      While Jacob can pull off being ridiculously and unnecessarily shirtless for 3/4 of a standard-length motion picture, no matter what form of movie magic is used Edward Cullen really needs to keep his shirt on.
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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Posted, 23rd January 2012
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        by Keely
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        0
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        143
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Don't hate the truck.
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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Posted, 16th February 2016
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          by Garga
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          0
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          144
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          If you have an injured ''special'' human in your house whose blood's smell drives every single vampire in there homicidal, make sure to burn the bloody pads after you finished patching her up. Surely the smell of barbecued blood doesn't have the same effect.
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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Posted, 16th February 2016
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            by Garga
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            0
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            145
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            In order to your life matters you have to ''Special''. That group of a dozen tourists' life mattered shit because they weren't pale, emotionless wooden Mary Sue ''Special''s.
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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Posted, 16th February 2016
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              by Garga
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              0
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              146
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              There are days which you care about Grand Theft Auto and there are days that you don't.
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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Posted, 16th February 2016
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                by Garga
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                0
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                147
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Grabbing vampires by throat and hammering them to the ground make their skin crack.
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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Posted, 16th February 2016
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  by Garga
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  0
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  148
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  When the boy you love dumps you, it means he loves you more than ever! Don't give up!
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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Posted, 16th February 2016
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    by Garga
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    0
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    149
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Vampire super powers work in a mysterious way. Sometimes they work, some times they don't.
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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Posted, 16th February 2016
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      by Garga
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      0
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      150
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      ''Special'' girls are immune to the vampire powers, except mood change from that upside down broom stick.
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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Posted, 16th February 2016
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        by Garga
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        0
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        151
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Italian and American authorities don't give a fuck when a huge group of American tourists go missing in Italy, nor does any network news.
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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Posted, 16th February 2016
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          by Garga
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          0
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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          If you're a werewolf, your shirt will turn to pieces when you shift, so does your pants but the latter has re-appearing magical properties and doesn't leave you bare-ass when you re-turn to human form.
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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Posted, 16th February 2016
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            by Garga
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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            153
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Who says boys hate Twilight series? When it teaches the girls that the worse a boy treats you the more he's in love with you so love him even more and don't leave his ass? I'm grateful for eternity, d'you hear Steph?
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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Posted, 16th February 2016
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              by Garga
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