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Ted

Ted
This list was started on 2nd July 2012 by Anon
There are 51 learnings for this movie
This list was last updated on 24th February 2015

The Things I Learned . . .

1
Giovanni Ribisi...... still creepy.
(1) Comments
  • 10th January 2013 by IcyNeko
    It's all that Scientology, boy howdy.
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Posted, 20th July 2012
by RoC77
3
2
Nothing is as magical as a boy's wish...except an Apache helicopter.
(2) Comments
  • 10th February 2015 by maffyd
    Nothing is more POWERFUL than a young boy's wish. Except an Apache helicopter. An Apache helicopter has machine guns AND missiles. It is an unbelievably impressive complement of weaponry, an absolute death machine.
  • 10th February 2015 by maffyd
    Nothing is more POWERFUL than a young boy's wish. Except an Apache helicopter. An Apache helicopter has machine guns AND missiles. It is an unbelievably impressive complement of weaponry, an absolute death machine.
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Posted, 2nd July 2012
by Anon
1
3
A movie that makes fun of Adam Sandler isn't aware that the movie itself is just like an Adam Sandler movie.
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    Posted, 16th August 2012
    by Max
    1
    4
    Be a good boyfriend by hiding in the corner while your girlfriend picks up the shit left by a hooker.
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      Posted, 13th October 2014
      by Footballfan
      1
      5
      Now if there's one thing you can be sure of, it's that nothing is more powerful than a young boy's wish. Except an Apache helicopter. An Apache helicopter has machine guns AND missiles. It is an unbelievably impressive complement of weaponry, an absolute death machine.
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        Posted, 9th February 2015
        by zikzak393
        1
        6
        Christmas is the one time of the year when Boston children get together to beat up the Jewish kids.
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          Posted, 2nd July 2012
          by Anon
          0
          7
          The Jewish kids want to be beaten up.
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            Posted, 2nd July 2012
            by Anon
            0
            8
            Ted is just like the baby Jesus.
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              Posted, 2nd July 2012
              by Anon
              0
              9
              LOOK WHAT JESUS DID!!! LOOK WHAT JESUS DID!!! LOOK WHAT JESUS DID!!!
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                Posted, 2nd July 2012
                by Anon
                0
                10
                No matter how big a splash you make in the world, eventually, nobody gives a shit.
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                  Posted, 2nd July 2012
                  by Anon
                  0
                  11
                  Teddy bears ride dogs instead of horses.
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                    Posted, 2nd July 2012
                    by Anon
                    0
                    12
                    "Oh shit it's 9-11! I've gotta get high!"
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                      Posted, 2nd July 2012
                      by Anon
                      0
                      13
                      When you say, "It's not my fault," you don't expect a follow-up question.
                      (2) Comments
                      • 10th February 2015 by maffyd
                        "What do you mean?"
                      • 27th August 2012 by spookyfish
                        what was the follow up question? i remember it being a good comeback when someone says "it's not my fault" but can't remember what it was
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                      Posted, 2nd July 2012
                      by Anon
                      0
                      14
                      Sometimes, when you get f***ed up, you want someone to beat you up. You will even thank them afterwards.
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                        Posted, 2nd July 2012
                        by Anon
                        0
                        15
                        If a woman farts in her sleep, that's a dealbreaker.
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                          Posted, 2nd July 2012
                          by Anon
                          0
                          16
                          Where's Ted's ring, motherf***er?!!
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                            Posted, 2nd July 2012
                            by Anon
                            0
                            17
                            It's only cannibalism if you swallow.
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                              Posted, 2nd July 2012
                              by Anon
                              0
                              18
                              Thunder is just God's farts.
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                                Posted, 2nd July 2012
                                by Anon
                                0
                                19
                                Girls talk about Channing Tatum's index finger.
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                                  Posted, 2nd July 2012
                                  by Anon
                                  0
                                  20
                                  If a hot guy hits hits a woman accidentally, it won't hurt.
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                                    Posted, 2nd July 2012
                                    by Anon
                                    0
                                    21
                                    If you talk shit to a future employer who's never had it talked to him, he will hire you.
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                                      Posted, 2nd July 2012
                                      by Anon
                                      0
                                      22
                                      Ladies don't mind if a teddy bear touches their boob.
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                                        Posted, 2nd July 2012
                                        by Anon
                                        0
                                        23
                                        The guy said there ain't hardly been no murders in it, so that apartment is great!
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                                          Posted, 2nd July 2012
                                          by Anon
                                          0
                                          24
                                          No, he's not just happy to see you. That IS a Flash Gordon ray gun.
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                                            Posted, 2nd July 2012
                                            by Anon
                                            0
                                            25
                                            White trash names have a "-lynn" at the end of them.
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                                              Posted, 2nd July 2012
                                              by Anon
                                              0
                                              26
                                              If you have sex with a cashier on top of the produce you sell to consumers, you will be promoted.
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                                                Posted, 2nd July 2012
                                                by Anon
                                                0
                                                27
                                                "Thank you for creeping out my night, and may Christ be with you."
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                                                  Posted, 2nd July 2012
                                                  by Anon
                                                  0
                                                  28
                                                  This is art. Get it?
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                                                    Posted, 2nd July 2012
                                                    by Anon
                                                    0
                                                    29
                                                    Just from one gentlemen to another, I hope you get Lou Gehrig's Disease.
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                                                      Posted, 2nd July 2012
                                                      by Anon
                                                      0
                                                      30
                                                      You never should've trusted Ted; he's on drugs!
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                                                        Posted, 2nd July 2012
                                                        by Anon
                                                        0
                                                        31
                                                        Oh c'mon. Ted doesn't sound THAT much like Peter Griffin.
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                                                          Posted, 2nd July 2012
                                                          by Anon
                                                          0
                                                          32
                                                          "You can't have any pudding if you don't eat your meat!"
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                                                            Posted, 2nd July 2012
                                                            by Anon
                                                            0
                                                            33
                                                            Michelob Ultra Tuscan Orange Grapefruit. What is American coming to?
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                                                              Posted, 2nd July 2012
                                                              by Anon
                                                              0
                                                              34
                                                              If you peek while counting during hide-and-seek, you'll get kid cancer.
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                                                                Posted, 2nd July 2012
                                                                by Anon
                                                                0
                                                                35
                                                                You shouldn't call 9-1-1 if someone just took your teddy bear.
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                                                                  Posted, 2nd July 2012
                                                                  by Anon
                                                                  0
                                                                  36
                                                                  There are some situations where it's ok to punch a kid.
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                                                                    Posted, 2nd July 2012
                                                                    by Anon
                                                                    0
                                                                    37
                                                                    You will be promoted to manager if you eat potato salad off of your girlfriend's bottom behind the deli counter.
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                                                                      Posted, 2nd July 2012
                                                                      by Anon
                                                                      0
                                                                      38
                                                                      A teddy bear is afraid of falling and landing softly on the ground.
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                                                                        Posted, 6th July 2012
                                                                        by Redshirt1
                                                                        0
                                                                        39
                                                                        Who doesn't love a teddy bear on drugs?
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                                                                          Posted, 7th July 2012
                                                                          by Lil
                                                                          0
                                                                          40
                                                                          Just because it has a teddy bear in it, does not mean it is suitable for children.
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                                                                            Posted, 8th July 2012
                                                                            by elphie
                                                                            0
                                                                            41
                                                                            Ted is like a Jersey Shore version of Yogi Bear.
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                                                                              Posted, 18th July 2012
                                                                              by john2012
                                                                              0
                                                                              42
                                                                              Family Guy's, hour too long, live action episode extravaganza.
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                                                                                Posted, 14th July 2013
                                                                                by The Guy
                                                                                0
                                                                                43
                                                                                Flash Gordon was a bad movie, but a good movie at the same time.
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                                                                                  Posted, 12th October 2014
                                                                                  by Footballfan
                                                                                  0
                                                                                  44
                                                                                  If you invite more than one hot model type chicks to a party, one will sh_t on the floor.
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                                                                                    Posted, 13th October 2014
                                                                                    by zikzak393
                                                                                    0
                                                                                    45
                                                                                    Mark Walkberg is a better singer than Katy Perry.
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                                                                                      Posted, 14th October 2014
                                                                                      by Footballfan
                                                                                      0
                                                                                      46
                                                                                      Fancy restaurants sell bubble gum in the bathrooms.
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                                                                                        Posted, 14th October 2014
                                                                                        by Footballfan
                                                                                        0
                                                                                        47
                                                                                        Teddy Bears that come to life are anatomically correct. Just ask Tami-Lynn.
                                                                                        (1) Comments
                                                                                        • 10th February 2015 by maffyd
                                                                                          I thought the joke was that he WASN'T anatomically correct? Hence the lawsuit with Hasbro.
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                                                                                        Posted, 9th February 2015
                                                                                        by zikzak393
                                                                                        0
                                                                                        48
                                                                                        Donny was arrested by Boston police and charged with kidnapping a plush toy. The charges were dropped when everyone realized how completely stupid that sounded.
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                                                                                          Posted, 9th February 2015
                                                                                          by zikzak393
                                                                                          0
                                                                                          49
                                                                                          Bears that have been wished alive react badly when compared unfavourably with Teddy Ruxpin.
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                                                                                            Posted, 10th February 2015
                                                                                            by maffyd
                                                                                            0
                                                                                            50
                                                                                            You can cram the same bunch of crappy jokes from a cartoon show and everyone will come and see it......and get a sequel to rehash same jokes..(see austin powers)
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                                                                                              Posted, 20th February 2015
                                                                                              by Caballo66
                                                                                              0
                                                                                              51
                                                                                              Okay Seth, we get it. People in the 90's sang in weird voices. We heard you use that joke on Family Guy first.
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                                                                                                Posted, 24th February 2015
                                                                                                by Footballfan
                                                                                                0

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