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Fantastic Four (2015)

Fantastic Four (2015)
This list was started on 18th August 2015 by KungFuMasterLarry
There are 53 learnings for this movie
This list was last updated on 11th November 2015

The Things I Learned . . .

1
Even when you cast a black guy as a superhero, you're apparently still obligated to shoehorn dated, stereotypical lines for him like "that's what I'm talkin' 'bout!"
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    Posted, 18th August 2015
    by KungFuMasterLarry
    2
    2
    There is no Victor, only Zuel - oh I mean, Doom.
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      Posted, 23rd August 2015
      by P4PZ
      2
      3
      Every reboot must be dark and gritty, including franchises that are supposed to be the complete opposite.
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        Posted, 20th September 2015
        by agentdc7
        2
        4
        What's the point in showing the title characters get adjusted to and learn to master their powers? Just jump ahead a year!
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          Posted, 18th August 2015
          by KungFuMasterLarry
          1
          5
          Kate Mara's wig: The Eighth Wonder of the World.
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          • 20th September 2015 by agentdc7
            Ugh. I didn't think it was going to look THAT different, but good grief were they even trying to make it look the same?
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          Posted, 18th August 2015
          by KungFuMasterLarry
          1
          6
          Dr. Doom looks like a crash-test dummy.
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          Posted, 18th August 2015
          by KungFuMasterLarry
          1
          7
          When you see strange green ooze seeping from the cracks in the ground in the alternate dimension you irresponsibly went to, stick your hand in it. What could possibly go wrong?
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            Posted, 18th August 2015
            by KungFuMasterLarry
            1
            8
            You know your movie based on a Marvel property is especially bad when Stan Lee is nowhere to be seen in it.
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              Posted, 19th August 2015
              by KungFuMasterLarry
              1
              9
              A smart scientist who isnt Reed or Sue invented the suits that control their powers like an on / off switch. But that scientist doesn't need a name or even being mentioned ever again.
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                Posted, 27th August 2015
                by Ku7uk
                1
                10
                When you get infected with a biological disease that mutates the skin; escape from quarantine and expose everyone else on the planet. Which can potencialy end the human race. And Reed is suppose to be the smart one?
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                  Posted, 27th August 2015
                  by Ku7uk
                  1
                  11
                  When building an interdimenisional teleporter, make sure you include single plain glass windows that break easily.
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                    Posted, 27th August 2015
                    by Ku7uk
                    1
                    12
                    There aren't any safety or surveillance protocols to prevent unauthorized activation and use of teleportation pods, and any hammered moron can hop in and use them whenever they feel like it.
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                      Posted, 17th September 2015
                      by KungFuMasterLarry
                      1
                      13
                      A lot can happen after 1 year. For example, an obnoxious character can become more obnoxious by chewing gum all the time.
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                        Posted, 20th September 2015
                        by agentdc7
                        1
                        14
                        Dr. Doom has the power to do whatever the plot he wants.
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                          Posted, 20th September 2015
                          by agentdc7
                          1
                          15
                          Hey I'm gonna call my old friend whom you all never met before at 12 in the morning to join in on our first visit to the other dimension while I'm drunk on the phone. Don't worry, he's with me.
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                            Posted, 20th September 2015
                            by agentdc7
                            1
                            16
                            You can headbutt a guy that's rubber, and knock him out.
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                              Posted, 28th September 2015
                              by catmunch1
                              1
                              17
                              Your teachers are too stupid to know you invented a teleporter.
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                                Posted, 28th September 2015
                                by catmunch1
                                1
                                18
                                Don't even bother to ask your female colleague-- who helped construct the interdimensional travel machine-- if she wants to go to the other dimension with you, but hit up your buddy who had nothing to do with said construction and insist that he come with.
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                                  Posted, 18th August 2015
                                  by KungFuMasterLarry
                                  0
                                  19
                                  The Thing's trademark catchphrase stems from an abusive childhood.
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                                    Posted, 18th August 2015
                                    by KungFuMasterLarry
                                    0
                                    20
                                    Victor Von Doom has the powers to explode peoples' heads with a thought, and will do so to anyone who gets in his way-- except, of course, the four people who have powers and could possibly stop him.
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                                      Posted, 18th August 2015
                                      by KungFuMasterLarry
                                      0
                                      21
                                      In addition to invisibility and force fields, Sue Storm also has the power of permanent bitch-face and ability to inexplicably change the look, length, and color of her hair from scene to scene.
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                                        Posted, 19th August 2015
                                        by KungFuMasterLarry
                                        0
                                        22
                                        As soon as Ben gets superstrength, he becomes a murderous killing monster for the army. Yet he's the good guy?
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                                          Posted, 27th August 2015
                                          by Ku7uk
                                          0
                                          23
                                          As a child, Reed built a transporter that could teleport anything placed on a tray, including a plane or a car. As an adult, that same teleporter is reduced to just four human size pods. Because evolution of technology works backwards.
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                                            Posted, 27th August 2015
                                            by Ku7uk
                                            0
                                            24
                                            Sue can get superpowers even when she doesnt touch the green goo, travel to the other planet, is behind a protective wall in another room on another planet. Yet the janitor in the room next door, other scientist, night guards and others get nothing.
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                                              Posted, 27th August 2015
                                              by Ku7uk
                                              0
                                              25
                                              When you infect your team with a bio virus, do a runner from quarantine and forget about them for an entire year. They wont care and five-minutes after reuniting, they will forgive you for abandoning them.
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                                                Posted, 27th August 2015
                                                by Ku7uk
                                                0
                                                26
                                                The four pod transporter has room for sending four scientists there. But five people (Doom) covered with a metal shell can fit in for the trip back.
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                                                  Posted, 27th August 2015
                                                  by Ku7uk
                                                  0
                                                  27
                                                  It takes a whole year for Sue to learn to make a week, unstable forcefield. Then five minutes later she is making flying spheres and force shileds around fireballs like she is a seasoned pro.
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                                                    Posted, 27th August 2015
                                                    by Ku7uk
                                                    0
                                                    28
                                                    Dr Doom wants to go to Planet X, then back to Earth, then back to Planet X. If only he could make up his mind!
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                                                      Posted, 27th August 2015
                                                      by Ku7uk
                                                      0
                                                      29
                                                      You can survive for a whole year on Planet X without food, water, shelter or even air. In fact, your mouth can be sealed shut because its no-longer needed.
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                                                        Posted, 27th August 2015
                                                        by Ku7uk
                                                        0
                                                        30
                                                        When you go to Planet X for the first time, you need space suits due to the zero oxygen to breathe with. But when you go back the second time, you can take your helmet off and create fire because magic invisible trees must have created an atmosphere during the year.
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                                                          Posted, 27th August 2015
                                                          by Ku7uk
                                                          0
                                                          31
                                                          Wormholes between planets can be opened up without even having to build s machine or a power source. And even when they suck up.cars, planes and building- they shut down when they suck up one person.
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                                                            Posted, 27th August 2015
                                                            by Ku7uk
                                                            0
                                                            32
                                                            Cover your ears, but I won't bother covering mine.
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                                                              Posted, 20th September 2015
                                                              by agentdc7
                                                              0
                                                              33
                                                              If you show 'magic' at the science fair, you are disqualified. So I'm guessing magic exists in this world but isn't related to science or something.
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                                                                Posted, 20th September 2015
                                                                by agentdc7
                                                                0
                                                                34
                                                                So that's the POS Toyota you've been talking about.... says the guy driving the just as old Honda CRX.
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                                                                  Posted, 20th September 2015
                                                                  by agentdc7
                                                                  0
                                                                  35
                                                                  The pre-human torch has flames on his welding mask. And his Toyota MR2 exploded in flames. Foreshadow.
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                                                                    Posted, 20th September 2015
                                                                    by agentdc7
                                                                    0
                                                                    36
                                                                    Apes go 'oo oo aa aa!' because that's the most generic ape noise they can possibly make.
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                                                                      Posted, 20th September 2015
                                                                      by agentdc7
                                                                      0
                                                                      37
                                                                      If a whole science team got screwed out of their successful project and is now pissed off, the appropriate reaction is no reaction. Just have someone pull out a flask.
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                                                                        Posted, 20th September 2015
                                                                        by agentdc7
                                                                        0
                                                                        38
                                                                        Movies trailers' money shots will not be shown in the actual movie because....false advertising is okay?
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                                                                          Posted, 20th September 2015
                                                                          by agentdc7
                                                                          0
                                                                          39
                                                                          In order for Ben to become the Thing, the green stuff will open Ben's pod and throw a bunch of little rocks at him.
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                                                                            Posted, 20th September 2015
                                                                            by agentdc7
                                                                            0
                                                                            40
                                                                            Air ducts large enough for humans to help them escape still exist in movies.
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                                                                              Posted, 20th September 2015
                                                                              by agentdc7
                                                                              0
                                                                              41
                                                                              The Thing lost his thing.
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                                                                                Posted, 20th September 2015
                                                                                by agentdc7
                                                                                0
                                                                                42
                                                                                A movie title Fantastic Four must be anything but fantastic.
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                                                                                  Posted, 20th September 2015
                                                                                  by agentdc7
                                                                                  0
                                                                                  43
                                                                                  When a villain has you in a choke hold, it's time for a monologue.
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                                                                                    Posted, 20th September 2015
                                                                                    by agentdc7
                                                                                    0
                                                                                    44
                                                                                    Human torch as the ability to manipulate fire, fly, and smash into things like a cannonball.
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                                                                                      Posted, 20th September 2015
                                                                                      by agentdc7
                                                                                      0
                                                                                      45
                                                                                      When the 2005 film is better by comparison, you seriously screwed up.
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                                                                                        Posted, 20th September 2015
                                                                                        by agentdc7
                                                                                        0
                                                                                        46
                                                                                        That's what I'm talkin' about! A green screen showing lots of science stuff!!!
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                                                                                          Posted, 20th September 2015
                                                                                          by agentdc7
                                                                                          0
                                                                                          47
                                                                                          They used 80's stop animation on some of the Thing's scenes.
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                                                                                            Posted, 28th September 2015
                                                                                            by catmunch1
                                                                                            0
                                                                                            48
                                                                                            Have a lot of the high special effects scenes in the dark, easier to make.
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                                                                                              Posted, 28th September 2015
                                                                                              by catmunch1
                                                                                              0
                                                                                              49
                                                                                              The thing doesn't wear pants.
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                                                                                                Posted, 28th September 2015
                                                                                                by catmunch1
                                                                                                0
                                                                                                50
                                                                                                The thing can rip army tanks apart, but they can keep him prisoner in a small cell.
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                                                                                                  Posted, 28th September 2015
                                                                                                  by catmunch1
                                                                                                  0
                                                                                                  51
                                                                                                  The thing looked more like a Kronan from Thor and planet hulk.
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                                                                                                    Posted, 28th September 2015
                                                                                                    by catmunch1
                                                                                                    0
                                                                                                    52
                                                                                                    After a clearly dangerous, unstable, unstoppable superpowered being has walked through the building, exploding peoples' heads just by thinking about it, do the sensible thing: block his way and start lecturing him. Surely at this point he can be reasoned with; what's the worst that could happen?
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                                                                                                      Posted, 10th November 2015
                                                                                                      by KungFuMasterLarry
                                                                                                      0
                                                                                                      53
                                                                                                      Take a comic series that tells the story of a family of superhero adventurers/celebrities, and give it the dark, gritty treatment. Take Reed Richards, the selfless leader of the group, and turn him into a thoughtless coward who abandons his friends. Take Sue Storm, the warm mother figure, and turn her into a bitchy know-it-all who's got a snide comment for everything. Johnny Storm? Let's make him a Fast-and-Furious wannabe with daddy issues. Ben Grimm... eh... I dunno, ummm... how about Reed's lackey until he gets his powers, then a merciless killing machine for the military? Victor Von Doom? Antisocial computer hacker who plays Assassin's Creed in his dingy apartment, YES! And let's ditch the family/celebrity aspect; let's give off the feeling that these guys barely even like each other! Let's rip off The Fly and have them get their powers because they get drunk and hop into a barely-tested teleportation device! Wait, powers?! We can't call them powers; not gritty enough. How about aggressively abnormal conditions? And let's suck out the fun aspect of Fantastic Four, make everything grey and dreary, and cast a group of actors that don't even look like they wanna be there! Recipe for success! This is gonna go over well... right? Right?
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                                                                                                        Posted, 11th November 2015
                                                                                                        by KungFuMasterLarry
                                                                                                        0

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