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Star Wars: Return of the Jedi

Star Wars: Return of the Jedi
This list was started on 1st January 2010 by Anon
There are 67 learnings for this movie
This list was last updated on 23rd November 2015

The Things I Learned . . .

1
Droids feel pain and scream when you burn their feet.
(1) Comments
  • 29th November 2010 by ekedolphin
    Kinda horrifying. Especially when you consider their bodies don't wear out nearly as quickly as humanoids'.
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Posted, 3rd January 2010
by Anon
7
2
Fuzzy teddy bears are better at guerrilla combat than seasoned soldiers in the Empire.
(1) Comments
  • 2nd January 2010 by chobi chi
    And cute to boot!
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Posted, 2nd January 2010
by Anon
6
3
Sticks and stones may break my bones and they can also take down an AT-AT.
(1) Comments
  • 3rd January 2010 by Anon
    . . . AT-ST, technically. [/geek]
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Posted, 1st January 2010
by Anon
5
4
Everything's better with princesses; princesses are better with gold bikinis.
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    Posted, 3rd January 2010
    by Anon
    5
    5

    (3) Comments
    • 8th May 2010 by Meushell
      That was such a stupid move on their part.
    • 13th March 2010 by agentdc7
      I remember while I was watching that version, I noticed the added Naboo scene and I seriously said to myself "Man, it would be really stupid if they replace the Anakin ghost with Hayden".... sure enough it happened.......
    • 3rd January 2010 by Anon
      The ghost of Sebastian Shaw shall return to inflict great vengeance . . .
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    Posted, 1st January 2010
    by Anon
    4
    6
    Luke must have made a stop on Earth before the final encounter and took fashion tips from Johnny Cash.
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      Posted, 1st January 2010
      by Anon
      4
      7
      When 900 years old you reach, look as good you will not.
      (1) Comments
      • 20th November 2015 by catmunch1
        In Empire he said he was 800.
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      Posted, 2nd January 2010
      by chobi chi
      4
      8

      (2) Comments
      • 27th November 2011 by agentdc7
        No.....NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
      • 11th April 2010 by UsernameTed
        It's perfectly fine to "update" a well loved series by "correcting" the ending with advanced technology. George Lucas out.
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      Posted, 3rd January 2010
      by Anon
      4
      9
      Han Solo can be temporarily blinded for the first half hour of the movie and will still be awesome.
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        Posted, 11th April 2010
        by UsernameTed
        4
        10
        Boba Fett was so badass that he defied the original script and lived anyways.
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          Posted, 1st January 2010
          by Anon
          3
          11
          The Empire pretty much decided not to try with its latest Death Star.
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            Posted, 2nd January 2010
            by Anon
            3
            12
            Obiwan was instructed by Yoda. Who the hell is Qui-Gonn? And who the hell is Count Dracula- I mean Count Dooku?
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              Posted, 12th January 2010
              by agentdc7
              3
              13
              Anakin tends to lose a lot of limbs
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                Posted, 22nd January 2010
                by jimbob
                3
                14
                An intense battle strategy can be communicated through a few simple nods of the head.
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                  Posted, 11th April 2010
                  by UsernameTed
                  3
                  15
                  Nobody thought to dock that casually flying shuttle arriving all by itself from the middle of nowhere and verify its contents or destination. But hey, its an older code, it checks out.
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                    Posted, 8th May 2013
                    by nee
                    3
                    16
                    It is fully possible to love two different men by the end of the movie, just as long as you love the one like the brother he is.
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                      Posted, 1st January 2010
                      by Anon
                      2
                      17
                      C-3PO is a Large Ham.
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                        Posted, 2nd January 2010
                        by Anon
                        2
                        18
                        Threaten to turn a dude's sister to the Dark Side, and he WILL mess you up. And he'll have some really good music while he does it.
                        (2) Comments
                        • 12th April 2010 by Anon
                          A typo, evidently. I don't seem to remember doing it initally, though. Huh.
                        • 11th April 2010 by UsernameTed
                          What is the Dark Size?
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                        Posted, 3rd January 2010
                        by Anon
                        2
                        19
                        It's a TRAP!!
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                          Posted, 7th January 2010
                          by The Superior
                          2
                          20
                          Slinging a rock will kill stormtroopers. If you sling it at yourself, it will leave a bruise on your nose at worst.
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                            Posted, 12th January 2010
                            by agentdc7
                            2
                            21
                            Killing a kid while their dad watches is not a good idea.
                            (1) Comments
                            • 6th December 2013 by catmunch1
                              and talk down the dad at the same time.
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                            Posted, 15th January 2010
                            by gagster
                            2
                            22
                            Rancors like pork more than human.
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                              Posted, 19th February 2010
                              by agentdc7
                              2
                              23
                              Using captions, it can be proven that the last audible line of the series, in episodic order, belongs to none other than...Jar Jar Binks. Thanks, George. Really, thanks.
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                                Posted, 15th June 2010
                                by Anon
                                2
                                24
                                Storm Troopers can conquer planets and defeat well armed and trained rebel forces on Hoth but can get the crap kicked out them by primitive teddy bears.
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                                  Posted, 4th July 2011
                                  by john2012
                                  2
                                  25
                                  First Death Star losses: whole crew plus a few fighters. Second Death Star losses: Emperor, fleet, premier battlecruiser, whole crew, political stability. You'd wonder how they managed to be an empire for THAT long.
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                                    Posted, 8th May 2013
                                    by nee
                                    2
                                    26

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                                      Posted, 1st January 2010
                                      by Anon
                                      1
                                      27
                                      Wookiees make excellent peace offerings to intergalactic mob bosses.
                                      (2) Comments
                                      • 8th May 2013 by nee
                                        Only if it comes with a thermal detonator.
                                      • 15th June 2010 by UsernameTed
                                        Thanks for the tip!
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                                      Posted, 1st January 2010
                                      by Anon
                                      1
                                      28
                                      It's convenient to die on the same planet on which you were born.
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                                        Posted, 3rd January 2010
                                        by Anon
                                        1
                                        29
                                        A sarlacc's head will disappear whenever it burps.
                                        (1) Comments
                                        • 20th June 2014 by username
                                          Would it have killed them to do a new shot with the beak swallowing a double in the Boba Fett suit? Were they really that lazy? Another reason why the changes suck.
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                                        Posted, 12th January 2010
                                        by agentdc7
                                        1
                                        30
                                        At the worst of times, your droid will ALWAYS be handy to re-supply you with a weapon.
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                                          Posted, 14th January 2010
                                          by midievallady
                                          1
                                          31
                                          What a way to celebrate! Start dozens of fires in the middle of a forest, that should be fun!
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                                            Posted, 18th August 2010
                                            by Fitz
                                            1
                                            32
                                            After the A-wing crashes into the Super Star Destroyer's bridge, and you see the Rebels on Ackbar's ship celebrating, listen closely. You can actually hear some random guy in the background yelling out, "DIE, DICKHEADS!"
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                                              Posted, 29th November 2010
                                              by ekedolphin
                                              1
                                              33
                                              Join the Empire Engineering Corps, where we are always trying to find bigger better ways to let our enemies reach the core of our best weapons.
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                                                Posted, 6th September 2011
                                                by Parth
                                                1
                                                34
                                                Lucas has altered the Trilogy. Pray he does not alter it any further.
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                                                  Posted, 27th November 2011
                                                  by agentdc7
                                                  1
                                                  35
                                                  What's better than a princess sorting a bikini? She's in chains and at the mercy of a fat slug. Every basement nerd's dream come true.
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                                                    Posted, 8th May 2013
                                                    by nee
                                                    1
                                                    36
                                                    The emperor's is coming. Dispense with the pleasantries. And get your ass back on schedule!
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                                                      Posted, 8th May 2013
                                                      by nee
                                                      1
                                                      37
                                                      R2D2 can roll easily threw the forest, just like he was on pavement.
                                                      (1) Comments
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                                                      Posted, 6th December 2013
                                                      by catmunch1
                                                      1
                                                      38
                                                      Good thing the shield generator wasn't protected by the shield.
                                                      (2) Comments
                                                      • 16th July 2015 by MyTruthHurtsYou
                                                        cant stop laughing with this one
                                                      • 9th December 2013 by Creamlord666
                                                        Or by some foothold traps to prevent furry vermin from the native wildlife get a hold of some speeder bikes.
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                                                      Posted, 6th December 2013
                                                      by catmunch1
                                                      1
                                                      39
                                                      Mon Calamari are pros at stating the obvious.
                                                      (1) Comments
                                                      • 3rd January 2010 by Anon
                                                        We can't repel truth of this magnitude!
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                                                      Posted, 1st January 2010
                                                      by Anon
                                                      0
                                                      40
                                                      If a large engineering feat is only halfway finished, it will still work.
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                                                        Posted, 2nd January 2010
                                                        by UsernameTed
                                                        0
                                                        41
                                                        Lando Calrissian screams like Brave Heart the lion from Care Bears.
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                                                          Posted, 3rd January 2010
                                                          by Anon
                                                          0
                                                          42
                                                          Han Solo killed the voice of Wall-E by throwing a box at him.
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                                                            Posted, 3rd January 2010
                                                            by Anon
                                                            0
                                                            43
                                                            The Ewoks made a dress for Leia... George Lucas has explicitly stated there is no underwear in space... dude, I think the ewoks totally saw Leia naked...
                                                            (1) Comments
                                                            • 8th May 2013 by nee
                                                              lucky furry bastards
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                                                            Posted, 3rd January 2010
                                                            by Anon
                                                            0
                                                            44
                                                            Unlike with Gungans, Lucas had the balls to kill off an Ewok on screen. Think about that.
                                                            (1) Comments
                                                            • 11th April 2010 by UsernameTed
                                                              I will and I think that he killed off many of them.
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                                                            Posted, 3rd January 2010
                                                            by Anon
                                                            0
                                                            45
                                                            I find it hard to believe that after the destruction of the Death Star, worlds all around the galaxy started celebrating. They're still under Imperial rule, after all!
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                                                              Posted, 29th November 2010
                                                              by ekedolphin
                                                              0
                                                              46
                                                              All the empire's men have British accents.
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                                                                Posted, 6th April 2012
                                                                by pocketg99
                                                                0
                                                                47
                                                                It is possible to survive being frozen in carbonite for almost a year despite not having access to food or any means of waste disposal.
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                                                                  Posted, 31st December 2012
                                                                  by username
                                                                  0
                                                                  48
                                                                  Primitive woodland creatures can launch a major counter-offensive in just minutes.
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                                                                    Posted, 27th January 2013
                                                                    by john2012
                                                                    0
                                                                    49
                                                                    Much better to invest in arrows and flint spears than advanced body armour. Or mechanized walker vehicles.
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                                                                      Posted, 8th May 2013
                                                                      by nee
                                                                      0
                                                                      50
                                                                      A handful of rebel scum can overwhelm a whole legion of the emperor's best troops when reinforced with a regiment of teddy bears. This legion also come with vehicles sporting heavy armament.
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                                                                        Posted, 8th May 2013
                                                                        by nee
                                                                        0
                                                                        51
                                                                        The closest the empire has to a signals corps are a bunch of scout troopers and expendable probe droids.
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                                                                          Posted, 8th May 2013
                                                                          by nee
                                                                          0
                                                                          52
                                                                          I think that in this particular galaxy a long time ago, hazard safety and general security is the absolute lowest on the list of priorities.
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                                                                            Posted, 8th May 2013
                                                                            by nee
                                                                            0
                                                                            53
                                                                            Sending a mishmash fleet against a suspiciously vulnerable yet extremely high-value target is like pointing a gun to your head without the need to make sure no rounds are chambered.
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                                                                              Posted, 8th May 2013
                                                                              by nee
                                                                              0
                                                                              54
                                                                              It wasn't "Luke I am your father" it was "No, I'm your father." My life has been one big giant lie.
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                                                                                Posted, 15th May 2013
                                                                                by Splicer
                                                                                0
                                                                                55
                                                                                Imagine what the galaxy would have been like if Luke hadn't talked Yoda to death? All Yoda wanted to do was "rest".
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                                                                                  Posted, 17th June 2013
                                                                                  by Samson
                                                                                  0
                                                                                  56
                                                                                  Storm troopers die from rocks hitting their helmets.
                                                                                  (1) Comments
                                                                                  • 9th December 2013 by Creamlord666
                                                                                    Their armors alway were pretty useless aside from looking cool.
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                                                                                  Posted, 6th December 2013
                                                                                  by catmunch1
                                                                                  0
                                                                                  57
                                                                                  Some storm troopers make a weird squeeking sound when they get killed.
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                                                                                    Posted, 6th December 2013
                                                                                    by catmunch1
                                                                                    0
                                                                                    58
                                                                                    Ewoks say "dawba dawba dawba" alot.
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                                                                                      Posted, 6th December 2013
                                                                                      by catmunch1
                                                                                      0
                                                                                      59
                                                                                      When George Lucas decides to replace a song and dance scene in one of his movies because the music and effects are bad, the music and effects in the new scene will be even worse.
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                                                                                        Posted, 20th June 2014
                                                                                        by username
                                                                                        0
                                                                                        60
                                                                                        Leia somehow always knew Luke was her brother, but that didn't stop her from kissing him! Ugh!
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                                                                                          Posted, 23rd August 2015
                                                                                          by DreamerBoy
                                                                                          0
                                                                                          61
                                                                                          Storm troopers on speeder bikes make a weird plastic squeaking sound when crashing.
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                                                                                            Posted, 20th November 2015
                                                                                            by catmunch1
                                                                                            0
                                                                                            62
                                                                                            Too bad the Empire didn't carpet bomb the forest around the generator.
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                                                                                              Posted, 20th November 2015
                                                                                              by catmunch1
                                                                                              0
                                                                                              63
                                                                                              They needed a shield for the shield generator.
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                                                                                                Posted, 20th November 2015
                                                                                                by catmunch1
                                                                                                0
                                                                                                64
                                                                                                This movie ruined 100 of Marriages by husbands asking their wives to wear the Princess Leia Metal Slave Bikini.
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                                                                                                  Posted, 21st November 2015
                                                                                                  by john2012
                                                                                                  0
                                                                                                  65
                                                                                                  Yoda and Obi wan will be perfectly fine your hanging with them as a ghost, even though you murdered jedi children, killed Obi Wan, destroyed planets, killed your own wife, destroyed rebel bases and killed 100's of rebels.
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                                                                                                    Posted, 23rd November 2015
                                                                                                    by catmunch1
                                                                                                    0
                                                                                                    66
                                                                                                    Darth Vader kills the emperor to save his son, It didn't have anything to do with turning good.
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                                                                                                      Posted, 23rd November 2015
                                                                                                      by catmunch1
                                                                                                      0
                                                                                                      67
                                                                                                      Darth Vader was in charge when the death star was destroyed, when the rebels escaped numerous times, when the shield generator was destroyed, no wonder the emperor wanted to replace him.
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                                                                                                        Posted, 23rd November 2015
                                                                                                        by catmunch1
                                                                                                        0

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