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G.I. Joe The Rise of Cobra

G.I. Joe The Rise of Cobra
This list was started on 4th December 2009 by Anon
There are 80 learnings for this movie
This list was last updated on 22nd October 2015

The Things I Learned . . .

1
When you're avoiding your fiance 'cause you were somewhat responsible for her brother's death, drive to his funeral on the biggest, loudest motorcycle you can find.
(1) Comments
  • 30th May 2012 by agentdc7
    And wear sunglasses in the rain like your Terminator.
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Posted, 22nd May 2010
by JumpinJack
5
2
Slow motion explosions are cooler than real-time explosions.
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    Posted, 4th December 2009
    by Anon
    4
    3
    If you're in a movie based on Hasbro toys, you will probably end up in Egypt.
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      Posted, 4th December 2009
      by Anon
      4
      4
      If your fiancé's little brother survives the blast you thought killed him, chances are it will turn him evil.
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        Posted, 4th December 2009
        by Anon
        3
        5
        The grand master of a martial art can be assassinated by his eight year old pupil that threw a hissy fit.
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          Posted, 7th December 2009
          by chibi master
          3
          6
          All you need to override brainwashing nanomites injected into your brain is the power of love.
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            Posted, 19th May 2010
            by KungFuMasterLarry
            3
            7
            A skin-tight black leather jumpsuit is perfectly acceptable battlefield attire.
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              Posted, 4th December 2009
              by Anon
              2
              8
              The silent one always has a back story.
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                Posted, 4th December 2009
                by Anon
                2
                9
                Needlessly brainwashing your sister is all good as long as it's all in the name of science.
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                  Posted, 19th May 2010
                  by KungFuMasterLarry
                  2
                  10
                  Go through all the trouble of travelling to the funeral of your fiance's brother by motorcycle while it's pouring rain out. But once you arrive there, just remove your shades, replace them, then leave. Don't do anything silly like walk up to the grave to pay your respects, let alone speak to the woman you're supposed to marry.
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                    Posted, 19th May 2010
                    by KungFuMasterLarry
                    2
                    11
                    The guy in the accelerator suit who ran through the streets of Paris dodging traffic, jumping through trains and plowing through bakeries will get taken down by a rifle-butt shot to the jaw from a French cop he saw coming for 10 feet.
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                      Posted, 22nd May 2010
                      by JumpinJack
                      2
                      12
                      You can figure out a lot by a person's shadow.
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                        Posted, 22nd May 2010
                        by JumpinJack
                        2
                        13
                        In fairness, running 3000 miles across the ice with a weapons case really is a stupid plan.
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                          Posted, 22nd May 2010
                          by JumpinJack
                          2
                          14
                          If you sell arms to both side of the French Resistance, don't get caught!
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                            Posted, 4th December 2009
                            by Anon
                            1
                            15
                            Knowing is half the battle.
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                              Posted, 4th December 2009
                              by Anon
                              1
                              16
                              You should worry when your most devastating weapons are stolen, especially when there are no demands.
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                                Posted, 4th December 2009
                                by Anon
                                1
                                17
                                Don't trust anyone who whistles "The Bear Went Over the Mountain."
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                                  Posted, 4th December 2009
                                  by Anon
                                  1
                                  18
                                  For maximum shock value, test your stolen superweapon on the French.
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                                    Posted, 4th December 2009
                                    by Anon
                                    1
                                    19
                                    Give praise to both your pupils, otherwise one may kill you.
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                                      Posted, 4th December 2009
                                      by Anon
                                      1
                                      20
                                      There are loopholes in every return order.
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                                        Posted, 4th December 2009
                                        by Anon
                                        1
                                        21
                                        When the good guy tries to steal the weapons case in a futile attempt to escape, check to make sure the homing beacon is still off.
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                                          Posted, 4th December 2009
                                          by Anon
                                          1
                                          22
                                          Nanomites can not only eat everything in sight, they also don't gain weight or change size, causing the tanks or cities they eat to vanish into thin air.
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                                            Posted, 4th December 2009
                                            by Adam
                                            1
                                            23
                                            Persistence will win over the heart of the cold, emotionless, but hot girl despite the fact you are an idiot.
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                                              Posted, 6th December 2009
                                              by Anon
                                              1
                                              24
                                              Just like every other action movie, make sure that one Asian guy has a sword, no matter how stereotypical.
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                                                Posted, 7th December 2009
                                                by Anon
                                                1
                                                25
                                                Ice sinks.
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                                                  Posted, 29th January 2010
                                                  by jimbob
                                                  1
                                                  26
                                                  Dr. Mindbender prefers Norton Antivirus.
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                                                    Posted, 19th May 2010
                                                    by KungFuMasterLarry
                                                    1
                                                    27
                                                    If you spot a kid, clearly cold, soaked, and in need of shelter, in your home eating a little bit of food from the enormous amount in the kitchen, not only whip his ass, but do it as sloppily as possible, destroying all the other perfectly good remaining food.
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                                                      Posted, 19th May 2010
                                                      by KungFuMasterLarry
                                                      1
                                                      28
                                                      Master Chief was the inspiration for the Delta-6 accelerator suits.
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                                                        Posted, 19th May 2010
                                                        by KungFuMasterLarry
                                                        1
                                                        29
                                                        A crossbow that needs to charge up for a few seconds before each firing is still an effective weapon for an ultra-elite commando.
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                                                          Posted, 22nd May 2010
                                                          by JumpinJack
                                                          1
                                                          30
                                                          Heavy Duty likes to dress like Blade on certain missions.
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                                                            Posted, 31st October 2010
                                                            by KungFuMasterLarry
                                                            1
                                                            31
                                                            Since when did parents start naming their kids Storm Shadow???
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                                                              Posted, 4th April 2011
                                                              by Parth
                                                              1
                                                              32
                                                              The good guy doesn't always wear white.
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                                                                Posted, 4th December 2009
                                                                by Anon
                                                                0
                                                                33
                                                                Don't let your fiance's little brother die on a top secret mission.
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                                                                  Posted, 4th December 2009
                                                                  by Anon
                                                                  0
                                                                  34
                                                                  The super suit can either jump over the train or through it.
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                                                                    Posted, 4th December 2009
                                                                    by Anon
                                                                    0
                                                                    35
                                                                    No matter how intense the fighting is, you can always find time to compliment someone's shoes.
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                                                                      Posted, 4th December 2009
                                                                      by Anon
                                                                      0
                                                                      36
                                                                      Pressure plates at the cobra base judge by surface area rather then weight.
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                                                                        Posted, 4th December 2009
                                                                        by Anon
                                                                        0
                                                                        37
                                                                        If you buy a Hummer, check to see if there are a few things: 1) a random guy wearing black on the bottom who is somehow still on 2) a bunch of pointy things that fly out of the sides at the push of a button and 3) a spiky plow on the front for getting down the highway. I wonder if it's a hybrid.
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                                                                          Posted, 4th December 2009
                                                                          by Alazne Chan
                                                                          0
                                                                          38
                                                                          How did the nanobugs manage to survive in The Day The Earth Stood Still, die, then reappear in G.I. Joe and die again?
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                                                                            Posted, 4th December 2009
                                                                            by Anon
                                                                            0
                                                                            39
                                                                            Korean actors are the new "in" thing for Hollywood action movies.
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                                                                              Posted, 5th December 2009
                                                                              by Anon
                                                                              0
                                                                              40
                                                                              Silent ninjas seem a little less cool when you realize their mouths have been molded onto their masks. Only a little, though.
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                                                                              • 30th May 2012 by agentdc7
                                                                                Looks like a Power Ranger.
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                                                                              Posted, 5th December 2009
                                                                              by Anon
                                                                              0
                                                                              41
                                                                              Comic fans are not nearly as pissed off about Marlon Wayans hooking up with Scarlett as they are about Snake Eyes NOT hooking up with Scarlett.
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                                                                                Posted, 5th December 2009
                                                                                by Anon
                                                                                0
                                                                                42
                                                                                Nobody uses camo anymore.
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                                                                                  Posted, 7th December 2009
                                                                                  by Anon
                                                                                  0
                                                                                  43
                                                                                  Flamethrowers can burn through anything...
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                                                                                    Posted, 8th December 2009
                                                                                    by waffle
                                                                                    0
                                                                                    44
                                                                                    G.I. Joe is proof that you can subtly meld twenty action flicks and come up with something good and non-cliche ... or not.
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                                                                                      Posted, 8th December 2009
                                                                                      by Silver
                                                                                      0
                                                                                      45
                                                                                      French cops are dumb.
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                                                                                        Posted, 29th December 2009
                                                                                        by Finnegan
                                                                                        0
                                                                                        46
                                                                                        Storm Shadow's still pretty badass, despite the fact that he needs to change his fashion sense. Badly.
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                                                                                          Posted, 19th May 2010
                                                                                          by KungFuMasterLarry
                                                                                          0
                                                                                          47
                                                                                          Ninja trumps Supersuit.
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                                                                                            Posted, 22nd May 2010
                                                                                            by JumpinJack
                                                                                            0
                                                                                            48
                                                                                            When the ninja/commando suddenly decides to stop attacking take it as a warning - you're about to get hit by a train.
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                                                                                              Posted, 22nd May 2010
                                                                                              by JumpinJack
                                                                                              0
                                                                                              49
                                                                                              When wearing an accelerator suit built of metal, hydraulics and other heavy parts, it's probably a bad idea to run across a glass rooftop.
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                                                                                                Posted, 22nd May 2010
                                                                                                by JumpinJack
                                                                                                0
                                                                                                50
                                                                                                Always be on guard for spaghetti sauce. Damn, those ninjas fight dirty.
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                                                                                                  Posted, 22nd May 2010
                                                                                                  by JumpinJack
                                                                                                  0
                                                                                                  51
                                                                                                  Probing a dead guy's brain for his last memories by jamming huge screwdrivers into his head is a really gross interrogation technique.
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                                                                                                    Posted, 22nd May 2010
                                                                                                    by JumpinJack
                                                                                                    0
                                                                                                    52
                                                                                                    Robotic tuna? really? That was less than impressive.
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                                                                                                      Posted, 22nd May 2010
                                                                                                      by JumpinJack
                                                                                                      0
                                                                                                      53
                                                                                                      If you are a ninja, attempting to slash your opponent with your sword ONLY rips the clothes, NOT the skin on your body.
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                                                                                                        Posted, 8th July 2010
                                                                                                        by FERIS
                                                                                                        0
                                                                                                        54
                                                                                                        Dr. Mindbender is the most awesome villain name ever!!!
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                                                                                                          Posted, 26th September 2010
                                                                                                          by ryan corderman
                                                                                                          0
                                                                                                          55
                                                                                                          The members of Cobra are able to tolerate Zartan's incessant and unrelenting whistling of "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow" without having even the slightest urge to tell him to shut the f*ck up.
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                                                                                                            Posted, 7th November 2010
                                                                                                            by KungFuMasterLarry
                                                                                                            0
                                                                                                            56
                                                                                                            Even a scientific genius can sometimes use "light years" incorrectly.
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                                                                                                              Posted, 29th March 2011
                                                                                                              by i m spades
                                                                                                              0
                                                                                                              57
                                                                                                              If a train T bones a Hummer H2, it will fly straight up in the air cause that's how physics logically works.
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                                                                                                                Posted, 30th May 2012
                                                                                                                by agentdc7
                                                                                                                0
                                                                                                                58
                                                                                                                If the bad guys are going to destroy something significant in France, it's probably the Eiffel Tower-I mean it's always Eiffel Tower.
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                                                                                                                  Posted, 30th May 2012
                                                                                                                  by agentdc7
                                                                                                                  0
                                                                                                                  59
                                                                                                                  The military uses Hummer H2s.
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                                                                                                                    Posted, 30th May 2012
                                                                                                                    by agentdc7
                                                                                                                    0
                                                                                                                    60
                                                                                                                    If a warhead is heading for the White House, only one jet will try to intercept the missile.
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                                                                                                                      Posted, 30th May 2012
                                                                                                                      by agentdc7
                                                                                                                      0
                                                                                                                      61
                                                                                                                      Locating a base in the Arctic is like finding a hackstack in a coal mine.
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                                                                                                                        Posted, 30th May 2012
                                                                                                                        by agentdc7
                                                                                                                        0
                                                                                                                        62
                                                                                                                        When you fly a plane straight up and parachute back down, chances are you will land in the exact same spot without the wind carrying you elsewhere.
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                                                                                                                          Posted, 30th May 2012
                                                                                                                          by agentdc7
                                                                                                                          0
                                                                                                                          63
                                                                                                                          If you're wondering what army is going to take you in when only one sub is in front of you, 100 subs will appear out of nowhere immediately.
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                                                                                                                            Posted, 30th May 2012
                                                                                                                            by agentdc7
                                                                                                                            0
                                                                                                                            64
                                                                                                                            The Pit has lousy security. They can't pick up any tremors or breaches in the walls nor do they have security cameras to see anything fishy going on.
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                                                                                                                              Posted, 30th May 2012
                                                                                                                              by agentdc7
                                                                                                                              0
                                                                                                                              65
                                                                                                                              Female corporals find getting stabbed more surprising than painful.
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                                                                                                                                Posted, 30th May 2012
                                                                                                                                by agentdc7
                                                                                                                                0
                                                                                                                                66
                                                                                                                                Zartan kills women. But he is also a woman too according to Storm Shadow.
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                                                                                                                                  Posted, 30th May 2012
                                                                                                                                  by agentdc7
                                                                                                                                  0
                                                                                                                                  67
                                                                                                                                  When you in a strangle hold. Cloaking yourself will allow you to escape. o_O.
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                                                                                                                                    Posted, 30th May 2012
                                                                                                                                    by agentdc7
                                                                                                                                    0
                                                                                                                                    68
                                                                                                                                    French cars are full of C4.
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                                                                                                                                      Posted, 30th May 2012
                                                                                                                                      by agentdc7
                                                                                                                                      0
                                                                                                                                      69
                                                                                                                                      Motorcycles are so heavy they can absorb the T bone impact of a car without slowing it down.
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                                                                                                                                        Posted, 30th May 2012
                                                                                                                                        by agentdc7
                                                                                                                                        0
                                                                                                                                        70
                                                                                                                                        If your speeding through heavy opposing traffic with a motorcycle, you have nothing to worry about. If you suddenly fly 20 feet in the air, you are in mortal danger.
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                                                                                                                                          Posted, 30th May 2012
                                                                                                                                          by agentdc7
                                                                                                                                          0
                                                                                                                                          71
                                                                                                                                          Motorcyclists will stop and park right next to your van just in case you want to steal it from them for a chase sequence.
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                                                                                                                                            Posted, 30th May 2012
                                                                                                                                            by agentdc7
                                                                                                                                            0
                                                                                                                                            72
                                                                                                                                            Snake Eyes took a vow of silence. So why does he have a mouth on his mask?
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                                                                                                                                              Posted, 26th September 2012
                                                                                                                                              by FilmSavvy
                                                                                                                                              0
                                                                                                                                              73
                                                                                                                                              If Stephen Sommers is directing, Arnold Vosloo and Brendan Frasier will show up eventually.
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                                                                                                                                                Posted, 5th October 2013
                                                                                                                                                by agentdc7
                                                                                                                                                0
                                                                                                                                                74
                                                                                                                                                When you're building your evil lair in the Arctic, don't ever think about installing a door or any other forms of security measure at the entrance. What possibly can go wrong?
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                                                                                                                                                  Posted, 22nd October 2015
                                                                                                                                                  by Garga
                                                                                                                                                  0
                                                                                                                                                  75
                                                                                                                                                  Brainwashing your sister against her will because she thinks you're dead and therefore is depresses is actually way more logical than telling her you didn't die.
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                                                                                                                                                    Posted, 22nd October 2015
                                                                                                                                                    by Garga
                                                                                                                                                    0
                                                                                                                                                    76
                                                                                                                                                    A weapon manufacturer which designed and produced a super advanced weapon needs a civilian lab's equipment to arm the mentioned weapon because.
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                                                                                                                                                      Posted, 22nd October 2015
                                                                                                                                                      by Garga
                                                                                                                                                      0
                                                                                                                                                      77
                                                                                                                                                      Particle accelerators are not round or circular in shape.
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                                                                                                                                                        Posted, 22nd October 2015
                                                                                                                                                        by Garga
                                                                                                                                                        0
                                                                                                                                                        78
                                                                                                                                                        If you can surprise attack an Apache gunship, specially when the said helicopter's equipments can't detect you, well, don't! Make sure to turn and go in front of it so the pilot can see you are going to screw him. You don't need the element of surprise, do you?
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                                                                                                                                                          Posted, 22nd October 2015
                                                                                                                                                          by Garga
                                                                                                                                                          0
                                                                                                                                                          79
                                                                                                                                                          Evil pilots are so skilled, instead of blowing the first vehicle in the convoy they can shut down their air support gunship in the sky with such precision that when it falls, it blocks the road to the convoy it supposed to support.
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                                                                                                                                                            Posted, 22nd October 2015
                                                                                                                                                            by Garga
                                                                                                                                                            0
                                                                                                                                                            80
                                                                                                                                                            When you wear a camouflage suit that disappears you, you don't need to wear it's gloves too. Your hands will disappear anyway.
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                                                                                                                                                              Posted, 22nd October 2015
                                                                                                                                                              by Garga
                                                                                                                                                              0

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