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Splice

Splice
This list was started on 12th June 2010 by thugz4real
There are 69 learnings for this movie
This list was last updated on 2nd September 2011

The Things I Learned . . .

1
If the male lead has sex with the 'monster' it's filmed as an erotic seduction, but when the female lead has a sexual encounter with the 'monster' it's a violent rape.
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    Posted, 13th June 2010
    by thugz4real
    9
    2
    Scientists that are capable of gene splicing can't figure out when their Experiments are really dead.
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      Posted, 12th June 2010
      by thugz4real
      8
      3
      The stupid scientist boyfriend will care little for the creature and wants to kill it until he realizes that his girlfriend's DNA is in it. Suddenly he's dancing and f**king with it.
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        Posted, 13th June 2010
        by thugz4real
        7
        4
        No matter what you MUST try to get your flashlight AT ALL COSTS!
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          Posted, 12th June 2010
          by thugz4real
          6
          5
          After your Experimental Creature Dren thing just swooped down from the heavens and killed your boss, just stand out in the open looking around aimlessly at the stars. DON'T make any attempt to run for the car thats 5 feet away from you with the keys in the ignition.
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            Posted, 12th June 2010
            by thugz4real
            6
            6
            Your stupid experiments will always suddenly decide to change gender at the worst possible moments.
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              Posted, 12th June 2010
              by thugz4real
              6
              7
              When the heart rate on the machine dies, plead and yell at the monitor. The heart rate will go back up.
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                Posted, 12th June 2010
                by thugz4real
                6
                8
                Even though you will be walking around pregnant, you mustn't speak a word about it.
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                  Posted, 13th June 2010
                  by thugz4real
                  6
                  9
                  You will ALWAYS end up losing your flashlight in the spooky woods.
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                    Posted, 13th June 2010
                    by thugz4real
                    6
                    10
                    Several scientists working round the clock can only make two mutilated penis monsters. Whilst just two can wonder off with no staff and half the resources and make a fully functioning sentient creature ready to supplant mankind as the dominant species.
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                    • 16th June 2010 by thugz4real
                      lol at least i'm not the only one who thought those things looked like giant wrinkled penises!
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                    Posted, 16th June 2010
                    by Torkuda
                    6
                    11
                    Don't decide to have sex with your stupid creature. Your girlfriend scientist WILL show up and see you.
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                      Posted, 12th June 2010
                      by thugz4real
                      5
                      12
                      With all that medical equipment in your lab, the best transportation container you can find for your stupid creature is a cardboard box.
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                        Posted, 12th June 2010
                        by thugz4real
                        5
                        13
                        When you can't keep your stupid creature in your lab anymore, pack it into a cardboard box and take it to your old farm where your mother used to abuse you. It's such a great learning environment!
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                          Posted, 12th June 2010
                          by thugz4real
                          5
                          14
                          The best way to communicate with your stupid creature is to use the letters of a Scrabble board.
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                            Posted, 12th June 2010
                            by thugz4real
                            5
                            15
                            Drowning your stupid creature will save its life, but don't tell your hysterical girlfriend scientist that until after she thinks you were trying to kill it.
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                              Posted, 12th June 2010
                              by thugz4real
                              5
                              16
                              Ginger and Fred looked like giant, wrinkled penises.
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                                Posted, 13th June 2010
                                by thugz4real
                                5
                                17
                                It is possible to make a movie that's so f**ked up on so many levels.
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                                  Posted, 12th June 2010
                                  by thugz4real
                                  4
                                  18
                                  If you haven't had sex in a while, then do it in front of your stupid creature.
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                                    Posted, 12th June 2010
                                    by thugz4real
                                    4
                                    19
                                    They didn't give the stupid creature any predator genes, yet it ends up going on a killing/raping rampage.
                                    (1) Comments
                                    • 29th July 2010 by ryan corderman
                                      Correction, they gave Dren the human gene and humans can be just as predatory as any animal.
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                                    Posted, 12th June 2010
                                    by thugz4real
                                    4
                                    20
                                    The stupid creature kills people by throwing them into the upper canopy of trees.
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                                      Posted, 12th June 2010
                                      by thugz4real
                                      4
                                      21
                                      People get really scared when two giant, wrinkled penises start fighting in a tank on stage.
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                                        Posted, 12th June 2010
                                        by thugz4real
                                        4
                                        22
                                        In a lab filled with scientists working at all hours of the day, no one will ever notice your stupid shrieking creature, or get curious, unless of course your younger brother decides to nose about with his equally funny nose.
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                                          Posted, 12th June 2010
                                          by thugz4real
                                          4
                                          23
                                          When your girlfriend scientist's hand is stuck in the tank that is forming your stupid creature, twirl around in the background with your hands on your head before smashing the glass with a chair.
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                                            Posted, 12th June 2010
                                            by thugz4real
                                            4
                                            24
                                            Playing a song that repeats the phrase "there are 26 letters in the alphabet" will help your stupid creature learn the alphabet.
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                                              Posted, 12th June 2010
                                              by thugz4real
                                              4
                                              25
                                              You can determine your stupid creature's gender by the distance of its eyes. If the eyes are abnormally far apart, then it's female. If the eyes are abnormally close, then it's male.
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                                                Posted, 12th June 2010
                                                by thugz4real
                                                4
                                                26
                                                It is possible to perform incest and bestiality at the same time.
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                                                  Posted, 13th June 2010
                                                  by thugz4real
                                                  4
                                                  27
                                                  If your stupid creature just threw you to the floor and tried to kill you, knock it out with a shovel and just remove its stinger. I'm sure there is no other possible way it could kill you.
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                                                    Posted, 13th June 2010
                                                    by thugz4real
                                                    4
                                                    28
                                                    Apparently looking like a chemo patient, and talking in clicks makes you a horror movie monster.
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                                                      Posted, 29th July 2010
                                                      by ryan corderman
                                                      4
                                                      29
                                                      You can't really tell the gender of wrinkled dicks.
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                                                        Posted, 24th October 2010
                                                        by mojarras
                                                        4
                                                        30
                                                        Don't have sex in front of your stupid creature, or else it will rape both of you when it grows up.
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                                                          Posted, 12th June 2010
                                                          by thugz4real
                                                          3
                                                          31
                                                          Don't take the pet cat away from the stupid creature then decide to give it back. It will just kill it with it's fang tail then smile.
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                                                            Posted, 12th June 2010
                                                            by thugz4real
                                                            3
                                                            32
                                                            Your stupid creature wants to be "inside of you."
                                                            (1) Comments
                                                            • 19th June 2010 by TiffYG2133
                                                              I see what you did there!
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                                                            Posted, 12th June 2010
                                                            by thugz4real
                                                            3
                                                            33
                                                            If your stupid creature sprouts wings and tries to fly away, tell it "I love you." Its wings will suddenly disappear and it will give you a big hug.
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                                                              Posted, 12th June 2010
                                                              by thugz4real
                                                              3
                                                              34
                                                              If your girlfriend scientist sees you having sex with your stupid creature, immediately pull your pants up and run after her car with your butt crack showing in the snow.
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                                                                Posted, 12th June 2010
                                                                by thugz4real
                                                                3
                                                                35
                                                                Covering your eyes will protect you from shattered glass.
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                                                                  Posted, 12th June 2010
                                                                  by thugz4real
                                                                  3
                                                                  36
                                                                  Whenever a cityscape is shown, there always has to be a police siren in the distant background.
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                                                                    Posted, 13th June 2010
                                                                    by Dominic
                                                                    3
                                                                    37
                                                                    It is possible to go from a sci fi thriller to a comedy pretty quickly.
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                                                                      Posted, 13th June 2010
                                                                      by thugz4real
                                                                      3
                                                                      38
                                                                      You can make a movie that's one step above an alien pornography.
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                                                                        Posted, 13th June 2010
                                                                        by thugz4real
                                                                        3
                                                                        39
                                                                        Genetic scientists are all bi-polar and on the verge of mental retardation.
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                                                                          Posted, 13th June 2010
                                                                          by thugz4real
                                                                          3
                                                                          40
                                                                          If you wont have a kid with your boyfriend have it with the person who raped you!
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                                                                            Posted, 29th July 2010
                                                                            by ryan corderman
                                                                            3
                                                                            41
                                                                            You can identify DNA by just looking at someone's neck.
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                                                                              Posted, 24th October 2010
                                                                              by mojarras
                                                                              3
                                                                              42
                                                                              Adrien Brody will do anything to get in a movie, even kiss and fuck monster creatures without throwing up.
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                                                                                Posted, 24th October 2010
                                                                                by mojarras
                                                                                3
                                                                                43
                                                                                If your stupid scientist boyfriend with the funny nose wants to kill your stupid creature, just let him do it.
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                                                                                  Posted, 12th June 2010
                                                                                  by thugz4real
                                                                                  2
                                                                                  44
                                                                                  All that DNA and gene splicing and the stupid scientist boyfriend can't fix his f**ked up nose.
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                                                                                    Posted, 12th June 2010
                                                                                    by thugz4real
                                                                                    2
                                                                                    45
                                                                                    It's a good idea to stick your hand into the tank that is forming your stupid creature. It's how scientists do things manually.
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                                                                                      Posted, 12th June 2010
                                                                                      by thugz4real
                                                                                      2
                                                                                      46
                                                                                      When you're in the snow, it looks cool to dress up in a Russian hat and coat.
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                                                                                        Posted, 12th June 2010
                                                                                        by thugz4real
                                                                                        2
                                                                                        47
                                                                                        Stupid creatures like tic-tacs (or whatever the hell that lady scientist kept on eating).
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                                                                                          Posted, 12th June 2010
                                                                                          by thugz4real
                                                                                          2
                                                                                          48
                                                                                          If your scientist girlfriend is bent down beckoning for your escaped lab experiment to "come to her," you should sneak up behind them with a large metal pole in a swinging position. I'm sure the creature will understand, and your girlfriend will be safe.
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                                                                                            Posted, 12th June 2010
                                                                                            by thugz4real
                                                                                            2
                                                                                            49
                                                                                            Don't slap your creature. It will take your key away.
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                                                                                              Posted, 13th June 2010
                                                                                              by thugz4real
                                                                                              2
                                                                                              50
                                                                                              If you're curious about a 'secret' experiment and have the ability to get through a locked-keypad door with a pen, only do it when your brother and his girlfriend are arguing with the creature.
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                                                                                                Posted, 13th June 2010
                                                                                                by thugz4real
                                                                                                2
                                                                                                51
                                                                                                Even genetic engineering supervisors will stereotypically want results now now now, so they can sell something.
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                                                                                                  Posted, 13th June 2010
                                                                                                  by thugz4real
                                                                                                  2
                                                                                                  52
                                                                                                  Rabbits are not considered a vegetable.
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                                                                                                    Posted, 29th July 2010
                                                                                                    by ryan corderman
                                                                                                    2
                                                                                                    53
                                                                                                    After being raped by your gender confused monster-child, it's perfectly natural to want to keep the inbred offspring that it will leave you with.
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                                                                                                      Posted, 29th October 2010
                                                                                                      by Fost
                                                                                                      2
                                                                                                      54
                                                                                                      Moral of the story. Don't fuck with mother nature. If you do, it will fuck you right back! Then it will grow a dick, rape and impregnate your wife and finally kill you!
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                                                                                                        Posted, 10th February 2011
                                                                                                        by yeahright
                                                                                                        2
                                                                                                        55
                                                                                                        After your stupid creature has already clawed its way out of an artificial womb, it is best to give birth to it's offspring. Obviously this will not harm your body in anyway.
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                                                                                                          Posted, 4th July 2011
                                                                                                          by Horani
                                                                                                          2
                                                                                                          56
                                                                                                          Don't keep your stupid creature indoors its whole life, or else it will grow wings and try to fly away.
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                                                                                                            Posted, 12th June 2010
                                                                                                            by thugz4real
                                                                                                            1
                                                                                                            57
                                                                                                            If your company is named NERD, you will wear a new nerdy T-shirt everyday, make a monstrosity and call it DREN, have sex, get raped, or tossed into a tree by the monstrosity, then either get killed by it at the end or impregnated by it.
                                                                                                            (1) Comments
                                                                                                            • 13th June 2010 by Dominic
                                                                                                              Well, this just about summed up the whole movie.
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                                                                                                            Posted, 12th June 2010
                                                                                                            by thugz4real
                                                                                                            1
                                                                                                            58
                                                                                                            SPLICE is the perfect name for this film since it 'borrows' and outright steals from so many other films (The Fly, Frankenstein, Aliens, Jeepers Creepers, Master of Horrors....etc)
                                                                                                            (1) Comments
                                                                                                            • 22nd October 2010 by Fost
                                                                                                              Most, if not almost all films made in this age take concepts from others.
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                                                                                                            Posted, 13th June 2010
                                                                                                            by thugz4real
                                                                                                            1
                                                                                                            59
                                                                                                            The only reason this movie was made was so Adrien Brody could walk around in shirts he got from ThinkGeek.com
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                                                                                                              Posted, 13th June 2010
                                                                                                              by thugz4real
                                                                                                              1
                                                                                                              60
                                                                                                              Splice is the stupid story of what happens when two of the world's dumbest scientists smush together the DNA of a human and several animals.
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                                                                                                                Posted, 13th June 2010
                                                                                                                by thugz4real
                                                                                                                1
                                                                                                                61
                                                                                                                Maybe the Stupid science experiment creature wouldn't have turned on you if you didn't use the DNA of a borderline nut job to splice it with! I'm just saying'
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                                                                                                                  Posted, 8th November 2010
                                                                                                                  by TiffYG2133
                                                                                                                  1
                                                                                                                  62
                                                                                                                  Stupid creatures grow wings and tail fangs when having sex with scientist guy with the funny nose.
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                                                                                                                    Posted, 12th June 2010
                                                                                                                    by thugz4real
                                                                                                                    0
                                                                                                                    63
                                                                                                                    The stupid scientist guy with the funny nose has an equally stupid younger brother with a funny nose.
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                                                                                                                      Posted, 12th June 2010
                                                                                                                      by thugz4real
                                                                                                                      0
                                                                                                                      64
                                                                                                                      If you're pregnant with your stupid creature's baby, then you are finally ready for "the next phase."
                                                                                                                      (2) Comments
                                                                                                                      • 21st June 2010 by thugz4real
                                                                                                                        oh hell no! i'd rather die than watch a sequel to this thing they called a movie lol
                                                                                                                      • 19th June 2010 by TiffYG2133
                                                                                                                        it's a lead off to a sequal - Splice 2: Birth
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                                                                                                                      Posted, 12th June 2010
                                                                                                                      by thugz4real
                                                                                                                      0
                                                                                                                      65
                                                                                                                      Stupid scientist boyfriend liked rock music.
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                                                                                                                        Posted, 13th June 2010
                                                                                                                        by Dominic
                                                                                                                        0
                                                                                                                        66
                                                                                                                        Science is able of bio engineering a human hybrid but it still has A cups.
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                                                                                                                          Posted, 29th July 2010
                                                                                                                          by ryan corderman
                                                                                                                          0
                                                                                                                          67
                                                                                                                          Your kids WILL seduce/rape you. No exceptions.
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                                                                                                                            Posted, 29th July 2010
                                                                                                                            by ryan corderman
                                                                                                                            0
                                                                                                                            68
                                                                                                                            In a facility full of scientist observing day after day No one can manage to notice that the gender of your creation has changed. Furthermore, only 2 of these many scientists can and they're the ones that aren't there.
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                                                                                                                              Posted, 4th July 2011
                                                                                                                              by Horani
                                                                                                                              0
                                                                                                                              69
                                                                                                                              It is quite normal to show hesitation when smashing the head of the monster which has killed two men and raped you.
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                                                                                                                                Posted, 2nd September 2011
                                                                                                                                by missshinobi
                                                                                                                                0

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