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Machete

Machete
This list was started on 2nd September 2010 by ryan corderman
There are 50 learnings for this movie
This list was last updated on 13th September 2014

The Things I Learned . . .

1
Lindsay Lohan in a nun outfit. You think there is a little irony in that?
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    Posted, 2nd September 2010
    by ryan corderman
    5
    2
    Chicks can hide cell phones in their vagina.
    (2) Comments
    • 6th December 2010 by Thalidomide Squid
      If she pulls out an iPad, be afraid, very afraid.
    • 3rd December 2010 by AHA
      I wonder if that still works with those huge smart phones?
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    Posted, 6th September 2010
    by ryan corderman
    4
    3
    They didn't cross the border, THE BORDER CROSSED THEM!
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      Posted, 2nd September 2010
      by ryan corderman
      3
      4
      A fake trailer makes one hell of a movie!
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        Posted, 2nd September 2010
        by ryan corderman
        2
        5
        You just fucked with the wrong Mexican.
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          Posted, 2nd September 2010
          by ryan corderman
          2
          6
          God has mercy, Cheech Marin does not.
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            Posted, 2nd September 2010
            by ryan corderman
            2
            7
            Naked women are the only things you shouldn't kill.
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              Posted, 6th September 2010
              by ryan corderman
              2
              8
              Intestines are strong enough to hold onto while jumping out of a building.
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                Posted, 6th September 2010
                by ryan corderman
                2
                9
                Eggs cure everything.
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                  Posted, 6th September 2010
                  by ryan corderman
                  2
                  10
                  If a Mexican has gardening tools you have to let him in your home.
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                    Posted, 6th September 2010
                    by ryan corderman
                    2
                    11
                    Finaly we see Lindsey Lohan naked... for some reason it feels about 6 years to late.
                    (1) Comments
                    • 22nd August 2014 by agentdc7
                      Looked like a body double to me. You never see her face, It's covered by all her hair.
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                    Posted, 6th September 2010
                    by ryan corderman
                    2
                    12
                    Don't leave Machete alone with your wife and daughter!
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                      Posted, 6th September 2010
                      by ryan corderman
                      2
                      13
                      Anyone else notice that in Grindhouse the trailer said it would be rated X and now it's rated R. I DON'T LIKE INCONSISTENCY!!!
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                        Posted, 2nd September 2010
                        by ryan corderman
                        1
                        14
                        That long hard thing is his machete.
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                          Posted, 6th September 2010
                          by ryan corderman
                          1
                          15
                          Tacos fill bellies with something other than hate.
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                            Posted, 6th September 2010
                            by ryan corderman
                            1
                            16
                            It's better to feel eyeballs in your uterus then in your colon.
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                              Posted, 6th September 2010
                              by ryan corderman
                              1
                              17
                              Oops is a great excuse!
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                                Posted, 6th September 2010
                                by ryan corderman
                                1
                                18
                                Hitmen have videos to advertise their skills.
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                                  Posted, 6th September 2010
                                  by ryan corderman
                                  1
                                  19
                                  Jessica Alba can get you papers.
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                                    Posted, 6th September 2010
                                    by ryan corderman
                                    1
                                    20
                                    Machete don't text.
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                                      Posted, 6th September 2010
                                      by ryan corderman
                                      1
                                      21
                                      Machete gets evidence.
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                                        Posted, 6th September 2010
                                        by ryan corderman
                                        1
                                        22
                                        Machete improvise! :)
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                                          Posted, 12th September 2010
                                          by djdhash
                                          1
                                          23
                                          You can steer a car by twisting the machete that you've just run through the driver from the back seat.
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                                            Posted, 16th September 2010
                                            by tropa23
                                            1
                                            24
                                            Jessica Alba really shouldn't be attempting a 'glorious' speech
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                                              Posted, 27th November 2010
                                              by Raajnie
                                              1
                                              25
                                              I now know what these Mexican taco vans are all about
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                                                Posted, 23rd May 2014
                                                by IndigoBalls
                                                1
                                                26
                                                Steven Segal is the man.
                                                (1) Comments
                                                • 26th November 2010 by Thalidomide Squid
                                                  Except when he kills hot naked chicks. Then he's just lame as hell.
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                                                Posted, 2nd September 2010
                                                by ryan corderman
                                                0
                                                27
                                                Danny Trejo is awesome.
                                                (1) Comments
                                                • 26th November 2010 by Thalidomide Squid
                                                  Except when he's on an alien planet with Predators.
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                                                Posted, 2nd September 2010
                                                by ryan corderman
                                                0
                                                28
                                                Saving a chick from Torres shows you have balls.
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                                                  Posted, 6th September 2010
                                                  by ryan corderman
                                                  0
                                                  29
                                                  Jessica Alba likes crappy coffee.
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                                                    Posted, 6th September 2010
                                                    by ryan corderman
                                                    0
                                                    30
                                                    The best way to greet someone when they open their front door is with a bullet in their brain.
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                                                      Posted, 6th September 2010
                                                      by ryan corderman
                                                      0
                                                      31
                                                      Jeff Fahey doesn't have time for Lindsey Lohan's shit!
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                                                        Posted, 6th September 2010
                                                        by ryan corderman
                                                        0
                                                        32
                                                        Always make sure you frisk Machete.
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                                                          Posted, 6th September 2010
                                                          by ryan corderman
                                                          0
                                                          33
                                                          Who says you can't drive a car with a machete?
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                                                            Posted, 6th September 2010
                                                            by ryan corderman
                                                            0
                                                            34
                                                            Nurses will let anyone visit anyone in the hospital with little to no questions asked.
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                                                              Posted, 6th September 2010
                                                              by ryan corderman
                                                              0
                                                              35
                                                              Explosions make temperatures rise.
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                                                                Posted, 6th September 2010
                                                                by ryan corderman
                                                                0
                                                                36
                                                                No one will help Robert De Niro put his phone on vibrate.
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                                                                  Posted, 6th September 2010
                                                                  by ryan corderman
                                                                  0
                                                                  37
                                                                  TV's look best when in the formation of a cross.
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                                                                    Posted, 6th September 2010
                                                                    by ryan corderman
                                                                    0
                                                                    38
                                                                    Machete is a real gentleman.
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                                                                      Posted, 6th September 2010
                                                                      by ryan corderman
                                                                      0
                                                                      39
                                                                      Steven Segal is so crazy bad ass that he will tell how little he cares about the machete you just stabbed him in the stomach with. In fact he'll even twist the blade and finish the job off for you.
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                                                                        Posted, 6th September 2010
                                                                        by ryan corderman
                                                                        0
                                                                        40
                                                                        I sure will go to hell for watching the scene where Lohan turns up in that nun's outfit.
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                                                                          Posted, 29th November 2010
                                                                          by Raajnie
                                                                          0
                                                                          41
                                                                          If you want a war, Michelle Rodriguez will give it to you.
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                                                                            Posted, 11th February 2011
                                                                            by DarkSarcasm
                                                                            0
                                                                            42
                                                                            .45 is a more universal language than English.
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                                                                              Posted, 11th February 2011
                                                                              by DarkSarcasm
                                                                              0
                                                                              43
                                                                              Always check the back seat for angry people with eye patches.
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                                                                                Posted, 12th February 2011
                                                                                by DarkSarcasm
                                                                                0
                                                                                44
                                                                                Human intestines are indeed 16 feet long.
                                                                                (1) Comments
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                                                                                Posted, 11th November 2011
                                                                                by Wujek Spenser
                                                                                0
                                                                                45
                                                                                Even in a movie where everyone has terrible acting skills Lindsay Lohan still does worse than all of them combined.
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                                                                                  Posted, 6th April 2012
                                                                                  by occams chainsaw
                                                                                  0
                                                                                  46
                                                                                  I love this movie.
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                                                                                    Posted, 20th May 2014
                                                                                    by Leslie101
                                                                                    0
                                                                                    47
                                                                                    As opposed to common belief, immigration agents don't look like scrawny middle-aged guys who just finished a triple-burger. ICE folks wear heels, resemble Jessica Alba, and shake long honey hair and arch their backs in the shower.
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                                                                                      Posted, 23rd May 2014
                                                                                      by IndigoBalls
                                                                                      0
                                                                                      48
                                                                                      Footage caught on camera will look exactly like the movie itself. It'll even change angles automatically too.
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                                                                                        Posted, 22nd August 2014
                                                                                        by agentdc7
                                                                                        0
                                                                                        49
                                                                                        When you arm your bike with a minigun, use it for about 1/2 a second and then discard it because it was made for trailer shot.
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                                                                                          Posted, 23rd August 2014
                                                                                          by agentdc7
                                                                                          0
                                                                                          50
                                                                                          Machete can kick you a$$ without throwing a punch.
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                                                                                            Posted, 13th September 2014
                                                                                            by agentdc7
                                                                                            0

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