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Rise of the Planet of the Apes

Rise of the Planet of the Apes
This list was started on 1st September 2011 by Adam
There are 51 learnings for this movie
This list was last updated on 22nd March 2013

The Things I Learned . . .

1
Habitat+zoo=100,000 apes
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    Posted, 9th September 2011
    by babofettdude
    9
    2
    Even if you don't have the throat structure for speech, you can still learn to talk if you're smart enough.
    (1) Comments
    • 22nd March 2013 by kvn8907
      Here I thought I was the only one a little bothered by that, since I took a semester of Human Evolution and we spent at least one full class on comparative throat structure.
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    Posted, 1st September 2011
    by Adam
    7
    3
    Monkey habitats are a lot like todays prison systems. You have the new guy who gets beaten, guards, an exercise yard, daily meals, daily showers, the large prisoner who is always kept in isolation, males turned gay due to the non-existent account of females, a warden, visiting hours and occasional mass riots.
    (1) Comments
    • 19th September 2011 by KungFuMasterLarry
      APES. Monkeys are further down the evolutionary ladder, just above humans.
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    Posted, 16th September 2011
    by Redshirt1
    7
    4
    If you're infected with a deadly new virus, keep it to yourself and don't tell anyone. Don't bother trying to get help immediately and let it spread to everyone you come into contact with.
    (1) Comments
    • 22nd March 2013 by kvn8907
      In the scene where his fat coworker is like "Chimps have a great immune system. I, however, am coming down with a cold" or something to that effect, my response was "That has to be the shittiest, least secure company in the world. No one should trust that company with anything that can't be seen by the naked eye."
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    Posted, 9th November 2011
    by agentdc7
    6
    5
    Giving Alzheimer's patients an extra five years of cogent life is considered a failure.
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      Posted, 1st September 2011
      by Adam
      5
      6
      The new guy is always picked on, even if he's a primate.
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        Posted, 1st September 2011
        by Adam
        5
        7
        If the original version of a drug will never get approved, fast-track the much more aggressive version.
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          Posted, 1st September 2011
          by Adam
          5
          8
          The neighbor is a jerk for not wanting his neighbor's ape near his kids or for them to steal his car. He needs his finger bit off and infected with a deadly disease.
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            Posted, 4th November 2011
            by broham
            5
            9
            It sucks to be James Franco's neighbor.
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              Posted, 9th November 2011
              by agentdc7
              4
              10
              Andy Serkis has quite an appetite for fingers.
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                Posted, 31st December 2011
                by Bugman
                4
                11
                Smartness drugs will make you able to lead a rebellion TELEPATHICALLY!
                (1) Comments
                • 22nd March 2013 by kvn8907
                  Yep. Even with the help of zoo primates that have never smelled a whiff of smart gas.
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                Posted, 25th February 2012
                by KevyB
                4
                12
                If you want to protect your newborn baby chimp, make sure to freak out and run everywhere in the room except for WHERE YOUR BABY ACTUALLY IS!
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                  Posted, 25th February 2012
                  by KevyB
                  4
                  13
                  If you were a super-intelligent ape, you'd want to so desperately live in a forest without fruit trees or any other type of food substance that not only would you cross the heavily-trafficked Golden Gate Bridge to get there, but you'd apparently pass right through tree-laden Golden Gate Park, possibly through tree-laden Lincoln Park and finally through the tree-laden Presidio, not to mention the gargantuan tree-laden foothills of the San Francisco Fish and Game Refuge bordering San Bruno WHERE THE PRIMATE SHELTER WAS LOCATED!
                  (1) Comments
                  • 22nd March 2013 by kvn8907
                    Maybe he found a tree he really liked, grew attached to it, and named it. Called it Barkley. No other tree would do.
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                  Posted, 25th February 2012
                  by KevyB
                  4
                  14
                  Our government is wholly unprepared for the chimp threat.
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                    Posted, 1st September 2011
                    by Adam
                    3
                    15
                    Applying brain-enhancing therapy to animals (apes, sharks, dogs...) ALWAYS goes wrong. Virus-based gene therapy ends up either creating zombies or wiping out the human race... or both.
                    (1) Comments
                    • 22nd March 2013 by kvn8907
                      When the scientist said he created an Alzheimer's cure, but as testing it on animals first, I nearly shouted at the screen, "What? Haven't you seen the movie Deep Blue Sea?"
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                    Posted, 11th September 2011
                    by IkidUnot
                    3
                    16
                    Escaping a prison is best done at night, when nobody can see you. But escaping over the most famous bridge in the world should be done during the day, when there are lots of people crossing it.
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                      Posted, 25th February 2012
                      by KevyB
                      3
                      17
                      You may have been perfectly in love for five years, but that doesn't mean you should ask your girlfriend to marry you... or to ever tell her the super-genius chimpanzee upstairs was a science experiment whose mother went on a violent spree in yet another form of that same experiment!
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                        Posted, 25th February 2012
                        by KevyB
                        3
                        18
                        Being the CEO of a pharmaceutical company also means you are the CEO of the police helicopter.
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                          Posted, 25th February 2012
                          by KevyB
                          3
                          19
                          Villains can't be both mean AND smart.
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                            Posted, 25th February 2012
                            by KevyB
                            3
                            20
                            Chimps love cookies, especially Chips Ahoy.
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                              Posted, 1st September 2011
                              by Adam
                              2
                              21
                              Simply being around the virus can grant eternal youth, hence James Franco's lack of aging.
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                                Posted, 1st September 2011
                                by Adam
                                2
                                22
                                Helicopters are no match for Kamikaze Kong!
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                                  Posted, 1st September 2011
                                  by Adam
                                  2
                                  23
                                  Apes on ALZ can achieve more than Bradley Cooper on NZT.
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                                    Posted, 11th September 2011
                                    by IkidUnot
                                    2
                                    24
                                    If you put a sweater and pants on a chimpanzee, it (almost) looks human.
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                                      Posted, 24th September 2011
                                      by Lby54229
                                      2
                                      25
                                      Apes freed from a zoo by enhanced apes will become instantly smart too, but without the aid of the enhancing drug.
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                                        Posted, 31st December 2011
                                        by Bugman
                                        2
                                        26
                                        Don't use a cattle prod if you're standing in a puddle and a chimp is aiming a fire hose at you.
                                        (1) Comments
                                        • 22nd March 2013 by kvn8907
                                          That advice is much too specific.
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                                        Posted, 31st December 2011
                                        by Bugman
                                        2
                                        27
                                        Every movie gets dumber after John Lithgow exits.
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                                          Posted, 25th February 2012
                                          by KevyB
                                          2
                                          28
                                          Apes will seem more human if you give them a more human eye color and then claim it's due to some ridiculous side effect.
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                                            Posted, 25th February 2012
                                            by KevyB
                                            2
                                            29
                                            If you plan to work in a laboratory with dangerous viruses, make sure to find one without a comprehensive quarantine plan if that virus gets out. You want to die in your own bed, right?
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                                              Posted, 25th February 2012
                                              by KevyB
                                              2
                                              30
                                              Scientists always approach things in an emotional manner, never a scientific one.
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                                                Posted, 25th February 2012
                                                by KevyB
                                                2
                                                31
                                                Orangutans look hilarious.
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                                                  Posted, 1st September 2011
                                                  by Adam
                                                  1
                                                  32
                                                  Monkeys don't kill people, viruses kill people.
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                                                    Posted, 1st September 2011
                                                    by Adam
                                                    1
                                                    33
                                                    Even genius chimps can't tell the difference between a painted wall and the sky.
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                                                      Posted, 1st September 2011
                                                      by Adam
                                                      1
                                                      34
                                                      Karma is a shocker.
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                                                        Posted, 1st September 2011
                                                        by Adam
                                                        1
                                                        35
                                                        Never trust the CEO of a pharma company.
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                                                          Posted, 1st September 2011
                                                          by Adam
                                                          1
                                                          36
                                                          Cookies help to earn trust.
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                                                            Posted, 24th September 2011
                                                            by Lby54229
                                                            1
                                                            37
                                                            Draco is still a brat.
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                                                              Posted, 22nd March 2012
                                                              by Eibhlinn Savage
                                                              1
                                                              38
                                                              Don't expect a guy you live with for 5 years to propose.
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                                                                Posted, 10th April 2012
                                                                by Arielle139
                                                                1
                                                                39
                                                                It's o.k. to use your ailing father as a lab rat for your new drug. Nevermind controlled testing.
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                                                                  Posted, 10th April 2012
                                                                  by Arielle139
                                                                  1
                                                                  40
                                                                  Never live next door to someone who owns a chimp.
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                                                                    Posted, 10th April 2012
                                                                    by Arielle139
                                                                    1
                                                                    41
                                                                    Never put baby in a corner,.. Or your monkey on a leash.
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                                                                      Posted, 10th April 2012
                                                                      by Sfc
                                                                      1
                                                                      42
                                                                      Be very careful who you make your neighbors.
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                                                                        Posted, 1st September 2011
                                                                        by Adam
                                                                        0
                                                                        43
                                                                        No means NO!
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                                                                          Posted, 1st September 2011
                                                                          by Adam
                                                                          0
                                                                          44
                                                                          Well I think someone learned NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
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                                                                            Posted, 2nd October 2011
                                                                            by popsita
                                                                            0
                                                                            45
                                                                            Meeting rooms are not equipped with emergency alarms.
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                                                                              Posted, 10th November 2011
                                                                              by agentdc7
                                                                              0
                                                                              46
                                                                              People go have picnics in the Redwoods even when it's raining.
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                                                                                Posted, 10th November 2011
                                                                                by agentdc7
                                                                                0
                                                                                47
                                                                                Apparently James Franco started working on the smart juice 127 hours after perfecting the arm-regenerating serum.
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                                                                                  Posted, 25th February 2012
                                                                                  by KevyB
                                                                                  0
                                                                                  48
                                                                                  Apes will eventually "evolve" from wanting to live in the forest to living back in the buildings of their captors, including government buildings (a la Burton's movie)... so apparently the smart drug wears off for them too?
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                                                                                    Posted, 25th February 2012
                                                                                    by KevyB
                                                                                    0
                                                                                    49
                                                                                    Rich scientists can't afford nice clothing for their treasured pets.
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                                                                                      Posted, 10th April 2012
                                                                                      by Arielle139
                                                                                      0
                                                                                      50
                                                                                      If you're left with the sentient newborn of the super-intelligent animal that ruined your life's work, take it home instead of to an animal clinic! Surely nothing could go wrong!
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                                                                                        Posted, 10th January 2013
                                                                                        by Wolfenmaus
                                                                                        0
                                                                                        51
                                                                                        If you're an ape, you can fall nearly infinite distances without hurting yourself.
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                                                                                          Posted, 22nd March 2013
                                                                                          by kvn8907
                                                                                          0

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